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AN ENCOUNTER I woke up "again" this morning and all I could think was why Why did I bother waking up why did I even try I had no motivation,didn't care to see the light of day So I stared blankly at the static t.v channel flashing gray An hour or so later I threw something on that was straight black Had no hair to even comb so I left it at just that Walking past the kitchen,past the living room to the door Outside it was briskly cold so I buttoned my coat up some more At 4:00 in the morning the world was quiet, eerie,and dark It's like the time of day was a painting reflecting the status of her heart Aggravated,suddenly motivated at the thoughts circulating in her mind The pain and circumstances that led her to lead a bitter depressing life, Agggravation that she let herself feel this way and become such a damn cliche' Motivated at the thought of death and that she could end this today Up ahead not far away was this recognized place The place she had fantasized and thought of often as her final saving grace It had gone on for some time now this fascination to that bridge And the more she entertained the thoughts of going toward it the stronger she couldn't resist It's like this force was in her drawing her forward promising some relief And in the quiet of the 4:00 morning she could swear she heard a whisper saying"follow me" It did not take much to convince oneself when despaired and desperate To listen to the whispering voice and do whatever it said The first few steps were loud like a pounding in her ears Thought's of the past came at her like arrows replacing all doubt and fear She felt this sort of romanticism this ecstasy building inside Walking steadily towards the bridge now in a trance as though hypnotized Smiling freaklishly she intently listened to her companion this whispering voice That was urging her to jump It would be better it would fill her empty void "come with me" echoed in her mind as she approached the tall fence one foot then the other she climbed she was at the top when she saw him It didn't matter he was too far away he couldnt do anything She'd make it but she had to jump now without further hesitation Before logic and reason could fully return the voice pulled at her insides Frantically reminding her of "everything" as though running out of time And in a rush of understanding her senses returned and tears pooled in her eyes She realized then she prefered her previous feelings propelling her to suicide Why on earth was she standing there contemplating what should have been so easy But in her surroundings and present position towards death she started feeling queasy With the distraction between periods of logic and insanity she suddenly realized That the man she aknowledged not moments before was lifting her from behind After being returned to her feet she shoved away from her "rescuer" vexed at the fact that he came unwelcomly she pushed him away and swore Tying to compose herself was hard her thoughts weren't exacly in their right From trying to process all the overwhelming circumstances that had led her here this night She paced and cried and held her head and as all of this went on She looked up to find her rescuer staring at her still he had not gone "your a fool,!your a goddamn fool,!what do you want with me" "Here"she yelled throwing her coat at him "Take it,go,leave!!" She was pissed,confused and overcome she rocked back and forth,back and forth Waiting anxiously to hear retreating footsteps surely he had gotten what he came for? No sound followed so she got up and sauntered quickly away But he didn't hesitate to follow much to her dismay! She shivered and mumbled angrily walked faster then stopped suddenly As her companion skidded to a halt she screamed "GET AWAY FROM ME" He just shook his head his eyes filled with some emotion was it understanding? oh who cared! this strange man who did not get the hint had no right being there As she opened her mouth to tell him so he draped her coat around her then She shrugged it on because she was cold then she began again "I suppose you think your a hero huh,and i should thank you for saving my life" "But unlike cliches and movies I happened to want to die" "This isn't going to be some big revelation or life altering event" "Because I did not want to be saved I did not give you my consent" "Listen",she sighed"Im sure your a great guy maybe you were trying to be nice" "But please spare your chivalry and heroism for somebody worth your time" Unsure of how to leave this awkward one sided conversation She grabbed his hand shook it and hurried away without further contemplation At least she tried to but was being pulled back before she had gotten two steps away He looked desperate a little uncertain as he begged her to let him explain "When i saw you back there it's like something hit me something I cannot understand" "This desire this urge to protect you so without thinking I just ran" "I was close when I stopped and I watched you,you didn't notice I was there" "I was yelling, pleading for you to come down but you didn't seem to hear" "It was like you were controlled by some demonic motive you had a faraway look in you eyes" "I wanted to act but did not want to scare you so I moved cautiously closer behind" "You were hesitating like you were gonna climb down but didn't know what to do" "Torn between a logic state of mind and the force beckoning to you' "It was the very next moment I decided I would be the one to choose" "You had no right"she started to say but he clamped one hand over her mouth "I wasn't done yet let me finish,dont you ever quiet down" He removed his hand from her mouth she stared at him coldly but did not speak Instead she crossed over to a bench and rested her head down on her knees whether or not she wanted to listen he was going to say his peice "After i lifted you and set you on the ground I watched you writhe with torment and fear" "Holding your head and shaking all i could do was stare" "I was silently contemplating what to do when you started screaming at me" "Then you threw your coat and waited probably thinking It would be that easy" "And when I saw you start to walk way there was no contemplation necessary"..., "I do not believe in love at first sight or the cliches you were talking about" "Like that if I saved you you'd be so releived or even thank me for my help" "However i believe in destiny ,chance encounters and now I believe in you" "That with or without me somehow you are going to make it through" "The reason that I know this is that in your eyes the second I pulled you down" "Before they flashed to anger and fear was this relief that you were on solid ground" "You may not admit it or perhaps not yet feel it but I know for a fact" "That when someone is redy to die they dont stand and cry in their position towards death" He knelt down beside her and raised her chin to meet her gaze Her cheeks were soaked with tears her eyes a reflection of her pain This woman had been through something and though it wasn't his place to know Still he wasn't going to leave her so he simply told her it was time to go she didn't question or fight just followed as he pulled her along Their footprints echoed on the bridge like the final chords of a song In the distance the sun was setting and life relenlessly went on. THE END |