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Rated: E · Short Story · Sci-fi · #1841769
Should the King change his will?

King Caliper gave me a look that said pronouncement coming.

"Don't get any bright ideas, you phony baloney."

Two favorites in one sentence.  Amazing.  How long would his reign last without my bright ideas?  So what if I came out of the computer labs?  I was designed for bright ideas.

Take today's mess.  The King had decided to change his will.  Again.  His daughter was promising grandchildren with her newest intended, a "musician", making her the King's new favorite.

And who would lose favor?  Only the leader organizing the realms rag tag forces against the invaders.  The King's oldest son was even now rallying the defenses across the planet's three moons.

When word of the new order of ascension reached him, he'd hurry home.  Remember, he'd seen his sister's earlier picks.  None of them made it to a wedding ceremony.  This one probably wouldn't either, but by then the damage would be done.

It was time for a bright idea.  Judging from the new beau's appearance, his "music" might put my hearing circuits at risk, but nothing ventured...

"Your Lordship, might I humbly suggest that your future son-in-law brighten our day with a song?"

The King's daughter beamed at this.

"Hmm...  Of course, if he would honor us?" the King responded, nodding to the tattooed, pierced, spiked musician.

He was happy to oblige, without a smile.  Apparently, smiling isn't permitted while playing his music.

I was able to turn down my hearing circuits quickly enough to avoid damage.  The King, his daughter, and the court, not so lucky.

At the conclusion of the "piece", there were many pained faces.

"Assign him to the mines.  Use his music for drilling," the King ordered.  Even the daughter was pleased by the King's wisdom.

Another phony baloney bright idea saves the day.

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