A second collection of new limericks for your delectation. Enjoy |
DOMESTIC BLISS A lovely young lady, Janine, asked her partner to keep the house clean “Keep making a mess, and I’ll copy, I guess Lysistrata – know what I mean?” LUNCH TIME It gets very cold on the bay, where it’s twenty below every day. I’m a big polar bear, and I’m waiting out there for lunch to come swimming my way. HIGH FINANCE (1) “I’m a wage slave,” he said to his spouse, “for after I’ve paid for the house, and the new swimming pool and the kids’ private school there’s not a lot left to carouse.” HIGH FINANCE (2) Said his spouse in reply, “Goodness me, we must cut down on spending, I see. I can help here, I guess, I won’t buy that new dress for our next holiday in Capri.” GOSSIP The duchess became very bitter ‘bout the duke and their cute baby-sitter. They denied it, of course, with great vigour and force but it’s spreading like wildfire on Twitter. DRAGONS A normal sized dragon will eat every day half a ton of raw meat. Then finish its feast, the ravenous beast, with a nubile young maid as a treat. VAMPIRES The vampire came slowly awake, and said to himself, “I must make a new sacrifice. A blonde would be nice, but I’d really prefer chocolate cake.” iPHONES My new iPhone’s the pick of the bunch, I use it to order my lunch. BLT, ham on rye, or a nice chilli pie. That one packs a hell of a punch. |