The Screen Test

Jade silently swore to herself that she'd never again take an acting gig without knowing what her wardrobe would be like. Acting gig? Ha! This was just a screen test. For all she knew, she was just a stand in for a more experienced actress (or some producer's girlfriend) and they'd kick her to the curb at the end of the day, and never call again. Regardless, she had a job to do, and she was already in costume, so she might as well get started. Jade walked onto the set, and immediately her concern doubled. Instead of a professional sound stage and a full crew, she was being directed by one man in a track suit with a cheesy mustache and a video camera. He grinned and leered as soon as he saw her. His eyes started at her black high heels, and slowly and deliberately crept up her fish-netted legs to her torso, where they lingered a while on her assets, clad tightly in a black playboy bunny outfit. Jade tugged uncomfortably at her collar and cuffs, and straightened the bunny ears perched atop her hair. The director made a twirling motion with his finger and Jade spun slowly, letting him get a good look at her attached puffy cotton tail. After capturing her on film, he directed her to the prop table. The only props there were half a dozen fluffy white cream pies on a large circular tray.

The director had her pick up one of the pies and start to pose with it in hand. She presented the pie, she pretended to throw the pie, she sniffed and licked the pie, and then, with her face just a few inches away from its creamy top, the director ordered her to freeze in place. Jade obliged and held completely still while he walked over to her to inspect her position. He placed one of his hands on her back, and the other one just below her own hands, which were both holding the pie. Nervous butterflies erupted in her stomach when she realized how easy it would be for him to force the pie up into her face, with her completely helpless to stop him. She felt him push down on her back, and bit back a whimper as her face descended in the direction of the pie, but he did not push the pie upwards, and when she had reach the edge of her balance, he took his hand away from her back. Heaving a sigh of relief as he released her, Jade quickly inhaled it back in as one of his meaty hands smacked her exposed backside and gave it a little squeeze for good measure. She wanted to thrust the pie into his lecherous face, but it was all she could do to stay stable. She was still unable to straighten up for a was once again at her back, not pushing, but refusing to let her up. When she stopped trying to straighten, the director stepped back and got a shot of her face near the pie, which just happened to include a shot down her cleavage.

He deftly stepped forward again and slid the pie out of her hands before she could use it the way she wanted to. As Jade finally straightened her aching back, and massaged her backside, the director made a bored twirling finger motion again and looked at her expectantly. She began a series of slow turns, turning in both directions and posing as directed. Just when Jade couldn't decide whether or not she was more bored than dizzy, he surprised her by launching the all but forgotten pie right into her face! An explosion of cream engulfed her features as she let out a small shriek of shock. He laughed at her as she stood still, overcome by her humiliation. When she finally got the nerve to tell him off, her humiliation was renewed by a crashing wave of water from the bucket he now held. Still chuckling to himself, the director told her to take a 5 minute break while he reviewed the footage.

Jade stalked off to the edge of the set to towel herself off. As she was cleaning her face, the director received a phone call. From what Jade could overhear, it sounded as if he was having an arguement with the producers of the project. She heard him say the words, "yeah, she's here," and then he was abruptly cutoff. A moment later, her own cell phone rang, and she hastened to answer it. The caller identified himself as the executive producer and offered her an unbelievable opportunity. He was firing the current director and was willing to give her his job if she would begin shooting a screen test immediately. She eyed the man who had so recently humiliated her with vengeful glee.

Strutting slowly toward him, Jade relished the fear in his eyes as he started to realize how the situation had changed. She had noticed something else about the former director during the previous shoot; when his pant leg had risen for a moment, it had revealed an ankle clad in dark hosiery not unlike her own. Without a word, she unzipped his jacket and confirmed her suspicions. Opening the jacket wide, she uncovered a bunny outfit to mirror her own holding up a pair of fake breasts that were glued to his hairless chest. This was too perfect; he was already half ready for his screen test.

Jade ordered him out of his track clothes and sneakers, while she pulled out a handy makeup kit. When he tried to speak, she shushed him, putting a finger to his lips, and then maliciously ripping his fake mustache right off of his face. She methodically painted his face into an embarrassing caricature of girlishness, and set it with liberal amounts of baby powder, so he couldn't smear it or wipe his face clean. She had him don a pair of opera gloves over his hairy forearms as she attached a blonde wig to his head with bobby pins and glue. Cuffs, collar and ears were put in place and she directed him into a pair of matching pumps.

She took her time, directing him through every pose he had put her into plus several more. She teased him, seduced him, then made him seduce her under her directions. When he had finally done so many poses that he no longer awkward, but actually achieved a bit of feminine grace, she let him have it with pie, after pie, after water, after pie until she was satisfied. Still laughing at him and his disheveled state, she smugly announced,"cut!" and turned off the camera.