The Monster in Me

There's a monster in me
Soft, quiet
Hidden from most, other than myself
No one else sees it
I try to hide it, but I struggle
All I know is it's loud
Obnoxious, persistent
Always begging for attention
Little like a seed
Growing, festering
It tells me lies
"Want this!"
"Want that!"
I never asked for this
I try to kill it
Hope, pray
Try to force it away
The monster solicits
Leaves, appears
Lingers, clawing at my mind
"She's lucky"
"She's beautiful"
"She's got everything"
I don't like this monster
But I can't get rid of it
I can only hide it inside
Growing, spreading
Turning everything green
Green
Hidden
Jade
Shouting
Envy
The monster in me