Seeking Hope

Rain pelted down against my window, like a grey sheet of paper gliding down across my eyes. I lounged on the end of the bed, picking at my finger nails - God that made me shiver with ecstasy. I kept picking at my forlorn nails until this warm, uneasy feeling seeped into my lower abdomen. I drew back on the picking and snatched up my phone. You never know what you can hide in your phone. I feebly remove the case from my phone and reveal my beautiful friend - Buddy. I trace my finger over the freshly sharpened blade and roll up my sleeves with such anticipation. My sleeves were all bedraggled and they left my bony, pale arms exposed - I looked like a bomb had hit me right in the face. I prepare myself for going really deep. Before I start, I grab at a towel to stiffle my screams of pain and love.

"One, two, three" I breathed. You could almost hear my skin ripping and tearing in the silence, but that did not last long. The pink like liquid dripped down my forearm to my hands and a sickly smile spreads across my face. Footsteps pound away at the wooden floorboards and I hastily shove my sleeves down and slip Buddy behind my phone.

"Jessica!" I wince at the sound of his raspy voice, "Jessica!"

I know when he gets to this point, I should unlock the door and obey.

The door slides open with aloud bang. Carlson stands in the middle of the doorway with a grim face.

"Yes, Dad?" I really wanted to die right here, right now.

"Get down stairs, i need to talk to you,"

"Wouldn't you rather do it up here and get real comfortable!" I launch back at him and the second those vile words left my mouth - I WAS DEAD.

"NOW!" Carlson raises his hand but I dodge before contact with my face, but instead he hits me in the chest. I wheeze in out and out and fall to my knees. I stagger backwards towards the shower door as we had moved my ensuite. Carlson edges towards me - he was getting close... real close. I just need to grab something, something - something.....

He grabs my wrist and moves his crusty lips towards my neck. I fight and scream in despair but I knew no one owuld hear me. He places a knee on one side of me and the other knee on the left side of me. Where is that object!

Yes! Finally, my fingers curled around a smooth, solid object. I wait for the perfect time to swing while he sucked at my neck - God this was gross. His face glide lower down my body and then - I decide I have had enough. I swing and the object connects with his jaw. He sprawls all over me - legs and hands all in a tangled mess. This is costing me time to run. Finally my legs are free and struggle to leap off the ground. But before I leave, I take one last look at my deranged father and give him a mighty kick in the groin. I was quite satisfied. All i hear is the sickening crunch of something braking - well done, Jessica! Carlson swears at me to come back, but I know I will never come back - never.