parents

I cant seem to get along with my mother anymore...



It started two nights ago, when I had to play the piano for my grandfather's birthday party. I had originally wanted to tap, but then my mom talked me out of it, saying that since the piece i would be playing was still fresh in my mind, it would be "better" to play that instead. anyways, most people probably thought I wasn't playing piano anymore. At that, I wanted to tell her, "Who cares, what other people think? It's really none of their business!" fast forward back to the birthday party: I went up, and did the appropriate chants before I played. Sitting there on the piano stool, I realized my hands were shaking-not a good sign. Just before that, when I had practiced at home, I had messed up on the last note. This time though, I messed up on the whole piece, towards the middle. Seeing no way to fix what i had done, I just stopped playing, took a bow, and went back to my table. In the car that night, my mom asked me, "Why did you mess up? I mean, none of the pressures from LA are her for you to play anymore! I mean, I saw your hands shaking. What happened?" I wanted to tell her,"What happened was, you forced me to play this piece, when what I really wanted to do was dance." I had been going through the whole dance in my mind continuously throughout the night, and as my legs moved along to the song in my head, my mom told me to "sit still", chalking it all up to nervous energy. That was that.



Then, yesterday, my grandfather came over to our house. my mom told me that i should ask him about what I should do about college, and see if he had any suggestions for me. Since my grandfather mainly speaks chinese with little to no english, and I speak English with little Chinese, I knew there would be communication problems. I didn't ask, because I didn't know what to ask. So, I told her, "you ask." and then she told me that it was my future, and that I should be the one asking. "what do I say, then?" I asked my mom. Maybe I could slowly try to translate it into chinese. "Master, Older sister's attitude nowadays is extremely awful."my mom stated. "She never listens to what I say, and is always trying to fight with me. Just now, I told her to ask you about College, and see if you could advise her as to what majors she should go into, but she wouldnt ask. She just gave me this dirty look." That i could understand, even though it was Chinese. after a few more complaints, my grandfather turned to me. "so where do you want to go for college?" I shrugged. "anywhere is fine." I responded (I think that's what I said). "whats that supposed to mean?" My grandfather asked. "see?!" my mom exclaimed. "she's so rude, and she never answers your questions directly!" "Australia is fine, and so is the US". I responded, giving my mom a look that said "really?" "well, if you come here to study, then you would miss all your friends in the states, wouldn't you?" I start crying, and the subject is dropped for a bit, until my mom brings up majors.

"ask your grandfather what major you should go into."she tells me.

"haven't you already pretty much decided for me?" i ask.

"no, those were only suggestions." she tells me.

the thing with her "suggestions" are that if i dont like what she's got to offer, she gets upset. Since I dont want to upset her, I just go along with the plan, even though that is not what i really want to do.

"what major should Older sister go into?" she asks. "i know she likes computers, but I went online one day, and on Yahoo, there was an article, saying the 5 best and worst majors to go into. Computer was on the worst. However, Business and education were both on the best list. So I thought that She should go into those, you know, have a major in Business and a minor in Education!" I give her an "i told you so!" look.

"do you not want to go into business?" she asks me.

Finally! "no, i don't want to go into business." I reply.

"then what do you want to go into?" she asks.

"education is fine, but just not business." what I really wanted to say was, "maybe dance, or voice. I really like to sing and dance."

"you see, younger sister already knows that she wants to....." i tuned it out, because I've heard it so many times.



that night, I was playing on the ipad, because i had finished what i wanted to accomplish that day. "don't play!" my mom remarked. "go read!" she said.

"ok. when I finish this." i told her. I was in the middle of a virtual tennis match.

a few minutes passed. "stop playing!" she said. "i'm going to tell grandfather that you're always playing on the ipad." she said. that is actually not true in it's literal form. I am not "always" playing on the ipad. I went to go eat dinner, then sat back down on the ground, with all intent to keep reading Arabian Nights on the iPad. "I told you not to play!" she said. I looked up at her, knowing I had won the battle.

"I'm not." I responded. "I'm going to read arabian nights on here."

frustrated that she lost the battle, my mom said, "you know what? I'm tired of your outbursts. One more, and either I'm going to ask Grandfather to take you out every day, so I don't have to deal with you, or I will move out to somewhere else. Maybe Caroline's place. I'm not scared of her." she told me. "it's getting really hard to live with you, you know. You probably think the same about me. Therefore, I will move if I have to." she tells me.