Smile at the Shoreline

Smile at the Shoreline

I’m a stranger to Sleep,
An acquaintance to Nightmare.
My sanctuary’s left me
For a land dark and bare.
Struggling for light,
Sweet relief’s yet to come.
I still know the pain,
But I only feel numb.
It’s a silent emptiness
That’s consuming my soul.
My life continues as before,
But I have yet to feel whole.
I’m a shadow on the outside
Looking into my world.
I’m not quite connected
To the tears of the girl.
You’ve stolen my heart.
You’ve stolen my life force.
Now I’m left to stumble
Down this uneven course.
You pushed and you prodded
Using guilt as your pole.
You kept breaking my strength,
Leaving in your wake, gaping holes.
You need to feel guilty.
You deserve the heavy load.
Now you can feel what I’ve felt
Struggling down rocky roads.
Carry that burden
While fighting alone in the dark.
Then you’ll know how I felt
While you were breaking my heart.
Feel the bite of the ache
The sting of the hurt.
Feel the pain press upon you
As the hellfire burns.
My mind’s chained to you,
Held fast, not unlocked.
Your heart holds the key,
But that path I’ve blocked.
It’s a terrifying prison
For I long to be free.
I only fear if you come close
You’ll end up chained to me.
So I carry these irons
Through the dark waters near shore,
The shackles that bind me
To the pain, on the floor.
Do you feel how I feel?
Have you caught a glimpse of it yet?
Have you felt the yearning,
Seen the light you can’t get?
Have you crashed through the ocean
Unable to breathe?
I don’t reach for you.
I’m reaching for me.
You are the black waters,
The guilt and pain crashing down.
As the sharp sorrow surrounds me,
You take my breath. I start to drown.
But though I’m thrashed by the waves,
I’ll reach the surface yet.
Though I may be pummeled by waters,
My strength Dark won’t get.
I’ll live again, breathe in the pain.
I’ll smile stronger than before.
And while your memory may haunt me,
I’m standing solid on the shore.