A very emotional and strong poem I wrote, I'm most proud of this piece. |
I once dated a boy who smelled like angst and rebellion. He called me names and told me things he wanted to do to me. That was where it started. Then I dated a boy who looked like his very being was composed of hair products and different scented body soaps that were made to give you things you lacked-- he wore the essence of "confidence". He kissed me only when i took off my clothes. He called me beautiful under the covers. When I decided I deserved better, I crawled back to the boy with the sharp tongue. And I apologized over and over. Then I left him for a boy all marked up with ink and blood. With a mind full of demons. And a heart covered in dust. He often tasted of whiskey and his voice became sour and loud. He squeezed my hand too hard when he was angry. I loved him. I was taught that love is supposed to be painful. "You're bleeding because he cares about you". I didn't argue. If enough people repeat something it becomes the truth. But not enough people tell the truth when you actually ask for it. Sometimes lying is necessary, but most secrets are trivial. Why didn't anyone tell me about you when I asked if it was possible? That love didn't have to hurt. How can you keep something like that a secret? How could someone lie about the look you give me every time I tell you I want to die? No one told me about the boy with eyes filled with stardust and a voice to end all wars. No one reassured me that there would be a boy who would hold me as if I were made of glass. Who smiled like he just discovered the secret to life every time he leaned in for a kiss. Who took his time to breathe and spoke softly and slowly so I understood. A boy who whispered in bed when he says "I love you", but proclaims it loudly in public. Why could no one tell me someone like you could exist? Maybe it was because your love doesn't hurt me. And they didn't want to look like liars. |