Jingle Hell

Jingle Hell

Jingle Bells, this is hell
All joy has gone astray –
Oh why did I decide to shop
On the eve of Christmas Day?!

Drive up to the shop
On this wet and gloomy day.
Try to find a parking spot,
Will this rain ever go away?
Only one trolley left
With a flipping wonky wheel,
What woe it is to push it round –
I must have nerves of steel.

Yeah

Jingle Bells, this is hell
All joy has gone astray –
Oh why did I decide to shop
On the eve of Christmas Day?!

A day or two ago
Thought I was organized
Tesco is packed on Christmas eve
Why am I not surprised?
Jostling through the aisles
Through a horde of screaming kids
Thought this would be all laughs and smiles
What a crock of…. bull that is!

What!

Jingle Bells, this is hell
All joy has gone astray –
Oh why did I decide to shop
On the eve of Christmas Day?!

Now the shelves are bare
The bread has all run out,
The deli has been ransacked,
There is no port about.
A fight begins to start
For the last case of red wine –
Can’t cope with this insanity,
Next year I’ll shop online!!

Argh!

Jingle bells, this is hell
All joy has gone astray –
Oh why did I decide to shop
On the eve of Christmas Daaaaaaaaaay?!?!?!?