New Shoes

It was four o' clock in the morning when we got back home
from Cynthiana,(a small town just west of New Haven). I
barely made it to the chair to take off my shoes.

Samantha and I were at least 5 hours in the Mall, we checked out
every shop it has, and all I ended up buying were new shoes
and socks! That was before the accident happened with Darrin and me.

One minute I was happy and care free and rolling with the
flow, and the next few moments of time was the worse thing
that could ever happen.

A huge truck slammed into Darrin and me as we were driving
for school that morning.
I survived, but Darrin had not.

He was pronounced D.O.A at 9:15 A.M. I had received a
concussion and a few minor cuts and bruises, but Darrin… the
one I had planned to be with forever, was forever gone!

I have to change my thinking pattern right now! this is
really killing me deep inside, but I don’t know where to
start. What can I do? It’s always worse for me at night!

Walking over to the end of the room, eyes fixed on a book
that Darrin had once gave me, opening the page and reading
it’s cover which he had inscribed the words, “Doris and
Darrin... forever and a day”. Slamming the book shut and
tossing it aside, I felt a rage wellup inside me that defies
description!

This is what’s left of my life with Darrin, my love, my
future, our plans, our hopes and dreams… NOTHING!

So how can I make something of nothing as Samantha said I
could do?
How can I allow myself to shine when the only ray of
sunshine I had is forever gone?

Meandering through the hall one more time and looking for
answers, I finally give it up and plopped onto the faithful
comfort of my bed.
My bed, the only thing that comforts, and welcomes the
stone cold human, which I am!

The only light I can see is the white of that bed sheet,
and right now…that is all I care about! Falling face down,
eyes closed in desperation, managing a feeble attempt to
pray...
God, if your hearing me, please send him back to me some
how! Oh God, please! Amen.