The unkown

I seek knowledge of how to accept the fact of being forgotten. No not in terms of being a person but forgetting the meaning one has. And this piece of mind is.... what has my purpose became? What do I truely seek? Life? Death? Salvation? Destruction? I cant control or decide...

I have to much knowledge in me of useless things.

I can remember a time back in my high-school years I shoveled my driveway for 4 hours from how compact and bad the snow was but I didn't stop til I was done.

I remember the very first few video's on youtube that dragged my interest of giant women into my mind.

I remember the day I went to my great grandmother's funeral... i was to shocked to go past the entryway and down the hall to see her no longer living body.

I remember starting to like vore due to a friend but the safe side of it.

I remember having been introduced to the foot fetish but a safe side of it.

Do you understand now myself? What is my purpose!? Why is it that i seek to do things outside of my boundaries yet not at all?!