Pop! Goes the Weasel - The Interviews

"All around the cobbler's bench
the monkey chased the weasel
the monkey thought 'twas all in fun
pop! goes the weasel"

Interview 1 The Monkey

"Look man, I was just havin' a good time, ya know? Monkeys have a long-standing tradition of terrorizing weasels, everyone knows that! It was me and him. I chased the little bugger for miles before we reached that cobbler shop. Around and around the bench we went until... hey, how was I supposed to know his head would pop off?! I mean, that is just not supposed to happen, ya know?" (Knock knock) "Hello? Who's there?" "Police, open up!" "Wha??? Hey man, what's with the cuffs? Wait! Hold on!! No, the cobbler made me do it! I swear, I'm innocent man. Hey, Owww! Not so tight, dude! MOMMY!"

Interview 2 Weasel's Grandma

"Junior was a good boy. Never got into a lick of trouble, ever! Well, there was the time he weaseled his way out of a theft charge (whoops! heh heh, pardon the pun). Never did like monkeys, no siree. Always causin' mischief. Why, I remember the time I was chased by a nasty ol' monkey. Yes, it was back 'bout forty year ago. Course, back then we weasels were a lil' sturdier than the generation we got today, yessir. No heads poppin' off back then, not that I recall anyway. Memory's not so good anymore. Uh... now what were we talkin' about? Oh yes. Junior was a good boy. Never got into a lick of trouble..."

Interview 3 The Cobbler

"Saw the whole dang thing! Course, my eyes ain't so good anymore. In all the commotion I lost my glasses. Still haven't found the dadgum things! Anyhow, in flies this woodchuck comin' from god knows where with an alley cat chasin' him like nobody's business! 'Round and 'round my bench they went. I got dizzy and passed out for a sec, but when I came to I saw the dadburn woodchuck's head pop off! I gotta tell ya, it was the craziest thing I ever seen! Or at least I think it was a head... . Anyway, shoulda seen that kitty cat take off, just like a bat outta heck! Now that's my story and I'll swear to it! Give me a notepad and I'll write it down for ya, just as soon as I find my goshdarn glasses..."

Comedy contest entry - word count 395