Life and death

Being dead is a weird affair. One that everybody would have to go thru though. Unless you cannot actually experience it because you are dead, of course. But I did experience it. Surprising thing given that I was an atheist and afterlife was definitely not in my plans. It felt so peculiar at the beginning. My body was still there, but numb, just kind of an ethereal sensation. Rather creepy.

Even creepier, the first think I encountered was this skeleton sitting in a wicker chair in front of me. A suitable greeter you may think. Not that suitable was the big cigar hanging in his mouth. The smoke, for obvious reasons, was leaking all over his skull. “It doesn’t matter, I don’t swallow, is just entertaining,” he said. So he could read my mind. Everything getting creepier yet.

I wondered for a second and his mind reading answer couldn’t be more direct: “You go to hell, that is your destination here,” and he added “that is clearly the appropriate thing for you”. Clearly? I had a very conventional life. No crimes or misdemeanors. Even my death, cardiac arrest, was nothing out of the ordinary. I would rather allege that I was kind to most people. I tried to recollect, when did I picked up the forbidden fruit from the tree of good and evil? “Yes you did,” he was quick to answer again, “you were an atheist.”

So it was just that. And I didn’t have a say or an appeal about it. Just an eternity to ponder on my past. Down there in earth my body was still plugged to the machines. Not sure if time kept moving there as mine got lodged. I am in hell. If you think that life is not fair, wait till you are dead.