Bad Tater Tot

The last two weeks a memory of when I was a kid keeps coming back to haunt me and I am not sure as to why. I figured i would write it down, maybe in the process of "putting it to print" will make it go away or enlighten me as to why this memory has pushed it's way to the forfront of my brain and will not leave.

I was in the 2nd grade at Saint Bethleham elementry, lunch time. At that time we were made to line up against wall just down the stairs from the main entrance straight across from the library. Each day the order of the line was choosen by our teacher, the best student always led the line, those that were okay without check marks got to be in the middle, those with 1 check mark would be behind those, and so on and then the class monitor was to bring the rear they got the privilage of turning of the class room lights. The class monitor position was normally held by Freddy the class 'tattle tail'. The teacher did not eyes in the back of her head because Freddy was fast and could be everywhere at once.

This particular day I had actually made it into the group of those who had no check marks therefore I would get to be lunch line for the better servings of food. You know the stuff that actually didn't come from the side of the pan where burnt cheese and harden vegetables would congregate. I was especially good on that day because tater tots and mini hamburgers where on the menu. I didn't get tater tots at home, we either got home fried potatoes and on special occasions mashed potatoes and gravy, so please understand my love those deep fried cylindrical clumpy hash-browns was justified. French fries are wondrous things but to me they just don't hold the same appeal as popping a hot ketchup smothered tater tots into your mouth.

That day I not only made it through the morning without getting a check mark I also scored a 100 on my spelling test. This earned me the privilage of standing 2nd in line. I was super good walking down that hallway. I stayed in perfect step right behind Phyllis. Eyes front, arms at my side, taking no chances of giving the little tattle tail Freddy of bumping me further back the line. I was 2nd and I was going to have first dibs at a full pan of tater tots, I had earned it.

We all file down the stairs, Freddy in his true form stops the line to tell on someone that was walking in perfect line and bumps them to the back of the line. I didn't know who it was I just stood perfectly still and waited. We finally made it to the lunch line door and had to wait for the class in front of us. It felt as if we waited there for ever before the 4th grade class in front of us made it through the line. They were allowed to talk and not stand the perfect line because of being in 4th grade and all. Next year they would go to the middle school with the other big kids so they were allowed to get away with more. Finally, we turn the corner of the lunch line doorway, and there they were, half a lunch line pan of taters Eight people in front of me. Each person got a heaping ladle of tater tots put in to the largest indentation of of the lunch tray. As I watched each tray loaded down with tater tots I noticed the amount in the pan getting smaller and smaller. After four people the amount of tater tots in the pan and dwindled down to a quarter of the pan. By calculations by the time I got there I would get the first serving from the next full pan. Sure enough my calculations were pretty much on the money. Phyllis would get the last serving and I would get the first serving from the next pan. This was definitely turning to be a great day.

"Need another pan of tots!" the lunch lady yelled back over her shoulder to one of the other lunch ladies. Here she came with a big pan of fresh tots piled high. Steam bellowed out of corner has she pulled back the plastic, getting the pan ready for a fast switch into the steam table. Sweet.......

At that moment the serving lady looked right at me, smile and with a fast flick of her wrist she scraped the last of the pan split off a quarter of the remaining tater tots into the corner, scooped up the largest portion dropped it straight on to Phyllis's plate. With a equally fast accurate flick of the wrist she scraped the pan again and picked up the small portion and some invisible tater tots she had pain painstakingly scraped from the rest of the empty pan and put them onto my plate.

Four tater tots, that is what was put onto my plate. Not four full taters and some halves. Nope four freaking tater tots. Surely she was mistaken, so I waited for her to finish exchanging pans. Surely she would see her mistake. If I would have known about Charles Dickens back then I would have held my plate up and begged for more. But then as i think back I believe my Charles Dickens plea would have been lost on them. As I stood there waiting patiently for my share of taters, my teacher walked up behind me and hurried me along to the next station.

"Teressa, move on, there are a lot of people in line, we don't have all day to wait for you to dwaddle." If you were to ask Mrs. Miles I was either "not paying attention" or "dwaddling".

Looking down at my measley 4 tater tots felt like crying. Shuffling forward I watched as an equally dismal squashed soggy mini burger tossed into the small desert slot above the main entree of 4 tater tots, finally a wet deformed carton of white milk promising to be luke warm was gently placed into the far right corner of the lunch tray. I didn't dare look up at the faces of the people placing the meager helpings of food on my plate. I just knew if I did I would be greeted by evil knowing smiles that wanted me to see me cry. I exited the lunch line doorway and took my place at the table beside Phyllis. Looking over at her plate of 12-14 taters and back to my meager 4 I picked one up and shoved it into my mouth and choked it down still trying not to cry. As I sat there listening to her brag to the person beside her about how she gets tater tots all them time at home and she doesn't really like them I choked my other three cold soggy tater tots down. Each one seemed to catch in my throat as I eating them. As expected my milk wouldn't open right because it had sat out in the air too long and had become to soggy to open properly and when I drank it, the warm room temperature milk coated my tongue making my thirst worst.

I knew it was wrong before I even picked up the fork but something compelled me to do it anyway. I picked up my fork, waited until Phyllis turned to talk or brag to the kid next to her. As soon as she looked away I reached over with my fork and stabbed one of the tater tots off of her plate and shoved it into my mouth. As expected it was crunchy, golden and still warm, total bliss. Who sits down across from me at that exact moment I choose to steal food off of someone elses plate but Freddy. Not only did Freddy tell on but it was at that time he yelled it across the lunch room so that everyone heard the terrible deed I had done.

"Mrs. Miles, Teressa just stole a tater tot off of Phyllis's plate with out asking".

My shame was immediate as the whole lunch room turned to look at me. Mrs Miles ran over and jerked me up out of my seat by the back of my shirt. "What is wrong with you?" she was demanding as she drug me through the lunch tables out of the lunch room. Once out in the hallway she threw me up against the door to the library and told me to wait as she went in and talk to the principle Mrs. Bell. As I waited outside I heard the lunch ladies across the hall talking about me.

"What happened?" one asked.

"She stole food off of someone's plate" another replied.

"how ungrateful" another stated.

My throat tighten as I choked back tears. "I worked so hard" was all I could think.

Mrs Miles walked out of the library door and told me to go in and see Mrs. Bell.

Mrs. Bell was a no nonsense kind of principle. And this wasn't the first time I had been in front of her. So I meekly walked into the library and looked around and found her sitting at a long table with stacks of paper neatly stacked from one end to the other. For what seemed like a eternity she looked down at the paper work in front of her signing different documents. When she finally looked up at me she just turned her head to the side and asked "What were you thinking?" Now Mrs Bell was a stern lady and I had received a couple of spankings for other infractions before but at that moment the look on her face was more of disbelief teetering on true curiosity. I couldn't hold back anymore, the flood broke and I told her everything, studying super hard for the spelling test, being super good in class all morning all for nothing. I ended my story with "it just isn't fair".

Mrs Bell sat there in her chair without moving the entire time I spilled my 6 year old guts about my evil deed.

"Baby, you might as well learn it now, Life is not fair".

She didn't spank me. She made me sit there in the library for the rest of the day and sent me home. Some how instead of calling my mom she had called my granny. Granny asked me what had happened. I told her the whole story. She just shook her head with an um, um,umm. and told me to go play. To this day I don't know if she told my mom and if she did I don't remember. Once and a while I will buy a bag of tater tots but no one in my family has the same craving for those clumpy little hash browns, so it isn't often. When I do pull those little puppy's out of the oven with their golden crunchy crust I think to myself about how each of us has the chance to do right by others and we choose not to.

"yep, Teressa, life is not fair, but these puppies are mind and Phyllis and Freddy can go screw themselves."