I Am Jellyfish

“My name? I am Jellyfish”

“Jellyfish. I see. And is that your real name?”

“….No.”

“But you prefer to go by this name?”

“Yes. It’s my handle.”

“Handle?”

“On the site. On WDC”

“And….Jellyfish – would you like to share with the group what ‘WDC’ is?”

“It’s a website – it’s called Writing Dot Com. But we call it WDC, for short.”

“We?”

“Yes, the members, the people on the site.”

“And what do you do on this website?”

“We write. Well, primarily – it’s a writing site you see, but, it’s kind of more than that. It’s a community as well, it’s like – a virtual world, on the internet.”

“Like a video game?”

“No, not really. All the people are real, and they really write things.”

“What kind of things?”

“Everything you can think of. Novels, short stories, poems, essays, interactive stories, blogs, articles, madl-“

“- And you write all these things?”

“Yes. Well no, I write poetry mainly, and some short stories. Flash fiction.”

“Flash fiction.”

“Yes, like a very short story.”

“And how long have you been writing these things on this…website”

“Since September fourteenth 2012! That’s my anniversary date. It’s kind of, um, a big deal. On the site – everyone has their anniversary date, and you receive merit badges, and extra CR and stuff.”

“CR?”

“Community Recognitions. They denote how active you are on the site”

“Mmmmhmmmm. And you need to spend a lot of time on the site, to get these CR’s, as you call them?”

“Well. The more things you do on the site, the more you are likely to get. So, yes, I suppose so.”

“Mmmmhmmm. Jelly- erm - Jenny. Can I call you Jenny?”

“No, you can call me Jellyfish.”

“…..Okay. Jellyfish. You have 325 community recognitions on this site. This means that you must have spent a lot of time on there. You have sent 674 reviews – that’s writing stuff about….well, other people’s stuff! You have 208 written items in your Portfolio which have never even been (and probably never will be) published – and you have sent out 197 of your so called merit badges. Do you know what that means?”

“Erm, well – “

“197 merit badges, that’s an equivalent of $197. Almost £150. Not to mention the money you spend on your membership of this website, and in your little pretend auctions and games.”

“To be fair, they’re not-“

“And the time, - Jellyfish. The time you spend on there – people are worried about you. People who care about you are worried about you!”

“Why?”

“Because you are neglecting the other things you are supposed to be doing.”

“Like what?”

“Well, like looking for other jobs, going to the gym, tidying out that drawer of a million bottles of nail varnish you have. What about that holiday to Cuba you’re supposed to be booking?”

“I am booking it.”

“Really? Because I don’t think you are. Plus, you were supposed to be finding an outfit for your friend’s fancy dress party next week, but you’re never on E-BAY – you’re always on your WDC….”

“I’ve got an outfit….sort of.”

“Look, you can keep coming up with excuses. But you have to face facts. YOU ARE ADDICTED TO WRITING DOT COM!”

“Well, maybe I am. Who cares? It’s the best site on the net!”

“Jellyfish. Jenny. It’s time for change –“

“Er actually – no, it isn’t.”

“And why do you say that?”

“Because whatever you say is irrelevant.”

“What do you mean?”

“Because you’re not real, you’re just a character.”

“A character?”

“Yes, a character, in the dialogue 500 contest.”

“The dialogue…what are you talking about, I’ve never heard of this contest!”

“It’s on Writing Dot Com.”

“Writing Dot – now, this is enough. The time has come! Seize that laptop – Wha- Oh my – What’s happening….I’m disappearing...Oh my - Aaaaarrrggghhhh! I’m melting….I’m melting….I’m mel………….”

“Goodbye. I am Jellyfish. And I am addicted to Writing Dot Com.”



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