Up at 3 A.M with a million things swarming through my mind. Yet for some reason the focal point of them all is you. You are a creative soul, a kindred spirit of kindness and love. An intellectual, much like me. You think on a deeper level, you see things in ways that others cannot. Be it from an open mind, or an enlightened perspective? Perhaps it is both. Maybe it’s neither. I don’t know for sure, nor will I claim to. One thing I do know, is that you and I are one and the same. I feel nothing but comfort when we speak to each other. You lift me up, while others would only tear me down. You do not belittle me if I am wrong, you simply enlighten me to the truth of the matter. Your chest is the home of a shattered heart, but a shattered heart that bleeds for what is right. Your eyes hold sorrow beyond your years, but they’ve a gleam of hope about them. Your mind is a jumble of emotions and trauma, but past all of that you’re absolutely brilliant. It is a pleasure to have known you, to know you now, and to know you in the future. I look so forward to what the future will bring. I would never tell you, but I do believe I love you. And you know well that’s not a word that I will ever use lightly. Alas, I know your love will never be mine. I’m content with the friendship that we bear, but these nights of wishful thinking that we’ve spoken of. If only you knew that those wishful thoughts were all of you. How I wish to show you the kind of love that you’ve always sought. I wish to walk with you under the light of the moon, to kiss your lips as the stars look upon us. To have those very same stars say “Look how brightly they shine.” And shine we would. Maybe one day, when we’re together I can show you this very piece of literature, and we can laugh. We can laugh because what I’ve written has come to pass and it wasn’t just the overimagnitive dreams of a lovestruck boy. The likeliness of that however, seems very slim to me. Perhaps what I’m writing today will never be shared with you. Perhaps these feelings will never be given the chance to blossom, perhaps they’ll be locked away in the depths of my heart without a chance to ever be blessed with the light of day. And if that be the case, I would be no less happy being a friend and a trusted confidant to the most wonderful woman I’ve ever met. It is very likely that these words will never leave my lips, and that your eyes may never glance upon them. Nonetheless I will enjoy these nights of wishful thinking, and revel in the brief happiness that they bring me. As we both have said, find happiness wherever you can. I just hope to find mine with you.
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