I have to win this contest! |
FORM - LIMERICK Full Counts All Words: 392 Text Lines: 75 This contest for poetry Must work hard on my entry If I'm really funny I'll get lots of money And join the premium gentry. Shall I write about romance? About merry couples that dance? Boys who play Girls rolling in the hay Nah. That wouldn't stand a chance. I know! I'll write about nature. That would get me quite some stature. The flowers and trees The birds and the bees How to catch a young girl and date 'er. Ah we're back to Cupid's arrow Leading you off the straight and narrow Walks, hand in hand On the beach, in the sand Of forbidden apples and marrow. 'Forbidden marrow?' you ask Yes, well, you know my task Calls me to rhyme And sound sublime Um -- the rum's in the flask. Will the judges think I'm rude If I were to write about food? When someone chews It stirs my muse But somehow, I don't think it's good I know! I'll write about plumbers. Plumbers, in very great numbers. But hush, 'b' silent Don't be a tyrant Let the plumbers have their slumbers. Without the 'b', the word plumbers Is said to sound like 'drummers' So they form a band With wrench in hand And wreck the silent summers. Don't say it doesn't make sense You're making me quite tense Can't you indulge? Let your love bulge? Read this through a rosy lens? I'm seriously beginning to doubt If there's anything I can write about Each topic I choose Is too tight or too loose Or it might give the judges gout. I know I should try harder To find rhymes from the poet's larder To just toss something in Won't help me win 'GOUT' doesn't join the cadre. What is that you say? The judges have RUN AWAY? Come back, judges, come back I know my poem does lack Anything to make you stay! So I'll really get down to it So that you don't rue it About heels and toes And footwear that knows To sock it, you must shoe it. That isn't clever by half? Makes you want to barf? What do I do? Cows go MOO When calling to their calf. Okay, okay, I'll stop! And if I don't come out on top I'll start to cry Because I did try Though the poem was a flop. |