The Frozen Start

It was a cloudy day with lot of pain and screaming, I was running for my 12 year old life to get out of the evil women called my 'grandma' who just beat me over a broken glass that I keep moving out of my reach to push it, who she keep putting their. When the glass fall she beating me that I nearly passed out and push her and start running out of the house and reflect to go back until my grandfather came and take me home, since that day I changed from sweet to ice cold.
I have not enter that house in 3 years or have a conversant with her without it turning into a fight. My parents never known until I was 16 years old, blocked it out so it will not haunt me but it turned me into a crazy monster who can't control my behavior, my emotions and my childhood. My friends would run away when they find out, my parents would give all the attention to my middle sister. I hated it so much, angry, rebelish and sadness would take our me.
I stop having a sisterhood with my middle sister because she become so full of herself that I could not take it being in the same room as her. I was in a special need class because of my ADHD but I was not special just frozen that I wish that I was never born but God had other plans for me, I just did know it.
I have a sweet, cheeky and funny little sister who look like me when I was younger. She always been there for me and the middle one bullies her because of it and torment me as well. She of course is the outcase between me and my little sister because she is brunette and we are not. True pride blondes with sense of humor and lots of fun. She is the too serious, boring, sleeping, non-social one even if she think everyone likes but yet she has bad friends who keep getting her in trouble and breaks her own so she can get more attention from the people who does not see through her fakeness. She like pushing buttons but when you react she start her game called, being a bully and she was not the one who start even though people saw and heard yet you are the wrong one by my parents and when you lose you cool and pack your bags they start caring, how messed up.
I stop believing in God since the day I got beating by my 'grandma' and turn to other places for comfort called, smoking, eating and drinking. I turn dark, dark clothes, dark make up and emotions. My parents never understood me and never wanted to, I go into fight with bullies, mean girls and controlling people. I beat the living crap out of people with my skinny ass. Stop doing sports and start hanging out with a bad crowd. I started losing people to death and I turn more dark and frozen in time and could not move on. Start turning to a monster never thought possible.