i'm sorry

what's it like, to feel?
to know that something inside of you is real?
unsure if i'm drained or void of life on the inside
never fully there, always try and hide
the symphony of internal tears
battling the cacophony of internal fears
is it right, is it wrong?
i've not felt this way in so long
or maybe this is the first time
maybe before i was just blind
but maybe it's also not genuine
like a staged race, one i can't win
had a lot of things on my mind
but then you come in, make me feel fine
make me feel alright in your presence
but every word spoken is hesitant
how much do i want to lead on?
thoughts full of you when you're gone
i hope you never find this
not sure if i ever wanna take that risk
for all i know, i'm just reaching out for something
just looking for attention, or a yang to my ying
hell, never even met you, or seen you
but at least one part of this rings true
and it won't stop ringing, reverberating in my skull
slicing my heartsrings with a knife that's not dull
maybe one day i'll build up the courage for a confession
maybe one day i'll finally cease my worrying
but right now, there's a tear in my soul
and whenever you come around, it feels whole
just friends ain't what i want this to be
i do and don't hope that it's plain to see
i'm not just some awkward fool
or some damn idiotic tool
i may be in the third dimension
but these feelings have got me in the fourth, bitchin'
they wax and wane, rise and fall like the tides
but no matter what, they never subside
i'm sorry, i'm sorry that i can't say this to you
that i think i love you