Jealousy Of A Colleague

Scalding hot teardrops rolling down my cheeks that were chilled by the winter night, a hand reaching out that seemed to seek the warmth of another only to fall back down to my side, I could only watch in choked desolation as she left my side. I still remember the sight of her dimples creasing into her cheeks as she smiled at me just weeks before, but now, it was overlapped with a bitter look of immense hurt and hatred. Who is this 'she' I'm referring to, you might ask. She was my colleague and best friend, Mei. Mei was a simple woman who held little contempt for anyone at all. She was naive in a sense but perhaps that was one of the qualities that attracted many to her, but of course, with popularity comes jealousy and I was a victim to that distasteful emotion. Many people attempted to sabotage her projects but she was unfazed and I believed that I would never fall prey to jealousy. At least that was what I thought. This is our story of how I ruined my best friend, and how she would never see me as one anymore.

That eventful week, a large corporation, Athelea, had decided to invest in our company. Everyone was aiming to be in charge of that client as they looked eagerly at the chairman's office with eyes full of hunger and thirst, eyes of a predator. We were waiting for the chairman's announcement with regards to the employee who would be selected to be the representative for the aforementioned client. Heart in our hands as we clenched our clammy palms into a ball, the chairman announced, "Mei, congratulations." The room immediately erupted in a loud chatter. Some were uttering words of encouragement to Mei while others glared at her scornfully, clicking their tongues as they did. As for me, I naturally congratulated her as her best friend. Yet somewhere in my heart, a grim feeling began to bud. I dismissed it, trying to give her all my support but I knew that a change was appearing in me. So, I smiled at her, a subtle tightness clenching at my chest.

Days passed as I sat idly at my desk, unable to find the determination to complete my assigned tasks. I found myself wondering about the case Mei was allocated to frequently. A moment or paranoia struck me. I had been in the company longer than her but I was never entrusted with any large-scale or significant projects before. I broke out in cold sweat as my pale, cold fingertips rolled across the keyboard. Click, click, click. I typed away. "What if Mei surpasses me, and leaves me behind?" I murmured solemnly under my breath as my thoughts derailed, my brows beginning to knit in a frown when the clicking that disrupted my train of thoughts came to an abrupt halt. My eyes trailed to the female that stood by my desk. It was Mei. She shared news of the great progress she had made with the client, that grim feeling seemed to grow again as I continued purring words of congratulations. Once again, I smiled at her, the tightness clenching at my chest once again.

A week passed since then and my jealousy began to grow more apparent. The dark circles hung under my droopy eyes, my chapped lips cracking as I spoke with Mei. She left abruptly for lunch after a short chat, leaving behind her documents. I caught a glimpse of her papers for 'Athelea'. My heart pounded wildly as if urging me to take a closer look and I acted in accordance with my desires. Slipping the documents out of her folder stealthily. I stashed it away in one of my drawers. Guilt hit me almost immediately but I did not return it. The blood that coursed through my veins felt tainted with jealousy and immense envy. A few hours later, screams could be heard from the chairman's office, followed by distinct wailing and sobbing. It felt like I was finally assured that she would never surpass me and leave me in the dust but a new worry sprouted. I could never let anyone know of the greedy deed I had done. I would have been destroyed if it ever came to light. She sought consolation from me and I smiled at her, patting her back. However, the tightness embedded within my chest never subsided.

Just a couple of days later, a verdict was arrived at by the chairman. Mei was to be fired as the company had suffered great losses from her losing the confidential documents. I knew the chairman had been petty from the very start, but I was unaware that the gravity of my actions had led to the end of Mei's career. I knew the consequences for Mei were severe yet I could not help but worry merely over my own predicament. My sole lament was for having such revolting desires to sabotage her project, knowing fully well she would have never left me behind just for her own gain. As she left the building that night, she trudged her feet through the snow that piled on the sidewalk. I ran up to her, breath heavy as I admitted my faults. "I didn't consider about how your career was at stake, I was merely driven by envy," I explained with a hoarse voice.

It was apparent how taken aback she was and her empty orbs glistened with utter hurt and devastation. She was such a bright and optimistic person so to see the sadness reflected in her eyes immediately made me snap back into reality. The fact that I was so overcome with such disgusting emotions brought tears to my eyes. She did not say much, all she could choke out in her strained voice was, "I thought we were friends, but now I realize that these feelings of mine were not reciprocal." Her teary eyes flickered momentarily with the inclination to forgive me, but she was unable to bring herself to do so. My knees grew weak as I fell to the ground, lips parted agape as I watched her lonesome figure fade further into the distance. She never looked back. I wished that we could put aside our anguish and smile again, pretending this whole ordeal never happened, but it was far too late. She was gone.

WORD COUNT: 1069

I've turned sixteen not too long ago, I'm currently in my 4th year of Secondary School (or Sophomore Year in the states I believe) , so I'd appreciate if you'd provide feedback with my level of education in consideration!

Score: 23/30; The marker deducted points for handwriting ( even though it was clearly legible ) and regarded it as spelling errors so I'd like to receive actual constructive criticism or feedback in general! Thank you!