Observations on sexual development...

I like to remember offensive or disturbing moments in my life.
It's a lot like watching a bad movie because it's so bad.
We have cringe-worthy moments that we'd like to forget.
I've learned to cope with these moments by viewing them as entertainment.

It is with regret I recall this moment of my teen years.
"Hello, Marsella !" I shout to my neighbor.
Marsella was a slender girl of 16 and I was a slender 16 too.
"Hello," she replied sadly.
I was taught to be understanding as Jesus was.
However, I lacked this wisdom at 16. I queried, "Why are you sad?"
Marsella explained that her parents were swingers and she did not like it.
She could hear her parent's party when she was in her bedroom with her younger sister.
Her younger sister Bernadet was fearful the visitors would come into their room.
I had no idea what to say, "Would you like to play some basketball?"

Marsella was not interested in basketball.
She said she would like to "Lay in bed with me."
I was raised in a conservative Catholic family and answered, "Maybe."
I knew my parents forbid sex before marriage.
So, I showed Marsella my trainset in my room.
Mom was out shopping and dad was working.
Marsella went directly to my bed..
We had unprotected sex.
And I was terrified I had gotten Marsella pregnant, but I never told anyone.
Marsella was my girlfriend and my parents liked her.
I was amazed I never got Marsella pregnant.
Now, I assume she was on the pill.

Being raised Catholic meant living in shame of sex.
It also meant I knew very little about contraception and the pill.
I did know about Playboy magazine and the ads for condoms.
But, I never used them, because I was ashamed to buy them.
I use them now.
Well, I was lucky..

Chapter 2

The Basement was dank and had a crumbling stone foundation.
There were two rectangular basement windows that opened inward.
They had a hook to an eye loop that held them open, hanging from the ceiling.
There were heavy framed screens that could be detached..
The first window looked directly out to the driveway.
The second basement window was under the first-floor overhang.

In the summer I'd leave these windows open and Marsella would slip in through the driveway window.
The windows had tables under them and the basement windows were wide.
Marcella would bring her younger sister Bernadett and we played games.
There was a barrel of discarded nylons that we tried on. ..
It all seemed fun, but I was nervous about pregnancy and getting caught.
Bernadett had a barrel chest and powerful grasps.
Marcella was slender and gentle.

Keep this in mind, my dad was born in 1910 and he was a strict Catholic.
There was a wooden crucifix over my bed with a porcelain Jesus nailed to it.
But, I told myself I didn't take their virginity, so it was okay.
Biology class taught me that sex was natural, not sinful.
And I was a nervous wreck.

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