Trying to Hold Back My Anger!

I have been quiet. I have been too quiet even for me.

I have been quiet because I have been crying, no weeping for those Black lives that we all know and have always known -- MATTERS.

Watching George Floyd laying on that street for EIGHT (8) MINUTES and FORTY-SIX (46) seconds was entirely too real and too much for me as a BLACK MOTHER to take.

Then to hear him asking for his MOTHER made my heart bleed and my eyes to just start dropping tears all over the place, but it was not the tears that kept me silent, it was the anger, the pure unadulterated anger at that police officer sitting on George Floyd's neck with his hand in his pocket and that smirk of a grin on his face! That was it for me. I did not need to be around people. I did not need to talk about it. I did not need to hear about it is "police procedure -- legal or otherwise. I knew, and any other reasonable and rational-minded person knew what was happening, and the other officer ALSO KNEW and DID NOT CARE!

For me, the message was more than what recorded. It was not their first time.

It was acceptable behavior, and they and their superiors knew that the behavior was being used and carried out and nothing was going to be done about it.

They were secure in the behavior and in the execution of it, and that my friends was when I passed go in my emotions and my feelings.

My soul cried out, Lord God, but for your grace and mercy there lies my son. My soul cried out for that mother, who at the time I did not know was deceased, and I could not imagine what she was going through watching the life drift out of her son as that White offer sat on his neck with his hands in his pocket grinning at the camera with that all too familiar smirk on his face and his hand in his pocket. He looked right at the camera. He did not care that he and his actions were being recorded.

He nor his fellow officers thought much about their actions, and stood there and watched another human being executed on camera! What is there to investigate? Folks (WHITE FOLKS) keep asking what do you tell your children or how do you talk to your children about this?

Lord God, if Black folks just now need WHITE FOLKS to tell them how to talk to their children about this, the Black race would already be extinct. White people if you know a Black woman that has given birth anywhere in America, believe you me, we have had that talk with our sons, and even our daughters. How else do you think that we have survived?

My God, are "you people" just stupid, blind, dumb, and that out of touch with your behavior and reality? Do you even listen to yourself? Look at the movies you make about this same behavior.

In almost every movie ever made with Black men in it, BLACK FOLKS know who is going to die first in the movie. We know who will not win an oscar no matter how great the performance.

Watch when a Black male in the movie he is a drug dealer, killer, child molester, snitch, or some other low life character that can, should be and is despised by the watcher. So, no matter what, when the movie is over, all of the negative lying, crap about Black men is reinforced -- if you are a White woman on the street, cross over to the other side if you see a Black man -- be afraid because Blacks are just bad.

White men commit more of those horrible crimes in real life than Black men ever will, but there is an excuse for their behavior. They got mixed up with those Blacks, they came from broken homes, they are mental, they are...(pick a word), never the evil nasty people that they are and even if they are, they are not to be feared they were just protecting (earning a living) their families, their daughters, their wives, their children, etc.

The message to Black children -- there are no bad White people, just bad Black people.

On May 25, 2020, George Floyd, a 46-year-old black man, was killed in Minneapolis, Minnesota, during an arrest for allegedly using a counterfeit bill. ALLEGEDLY USING A COUNTERFEIT BILL!

My son is 49. My son is a strong Black man. He has not been raised to bow down, but to stand like a man, to be a man, and to walk in a man's shoes. AND, now I have seventeen (17) grandsons and three (3) great-grandsons to keep me on my knees -- the joke in the family that I have a whole lot of my heart running around all over the place. It was hard with just one, but now with young Black, intelligent Black males in today's society and atmosphere, only God will get me through this.

Many a nights, back then and now I prayed that he would make it home from where ever he had gone. Many of those nights I had to go get him from police stations in Prince George's County because he was walking while Black or in White vernacular "just doing what boys do -- trying himself, but in their words, and yes, I said their words, "he was trying to be White or be need to learn his place when a police officer is talking to him!" What is his place? Dead? George Floyd is.

I am saddened that Goerge Floyd's mother is dead, but I am so thankful that she did not and will never have to go through the pain of watching the life ebb out of her son on the streets of Minneapolis, Minnesota!

America, America, it is time for a change. FOUR HUNDRED YEARS LATER, and racism is still alive and well with justification for its existence.

Reverend Al Sharpton stated it well at George Floyd's funeral -- White America GET YOUR KNEE OFF MY NECK!

Peace and blessings always -- as I try to reconcile my mind with my head and my heart -- Black mothers with sons, you know exactly what I am talking about.

The genocide of a people with public permission and a legal system to uphold and maintain and guarantee the permission.