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Rated: ASR · Fiction · Action/Adventure · #2250074
This is a short story featuring Princess, an anti-hero who serves as my mascot.
Princess and her goons are holding up a bank. The bank teller stands behind the counter with his arms raised above his head, knees shaking. "Take whatever you want, just don't hurt my little Pipsquawk." A green parrot standing on a perch situated on the counter ruffles his feathers. "Wak, crime doesn't pay. Crime doesn't pay. Wak." Princess approaches the man and grabs him by the collar. "You remind me of my parents." She pulls the man closer and shouts in his face; "I hate my parents." She releases the teller and walks away. "Put holes in him, boys!" The goon squad all start firing at the man as he takes cover on the floor behind the counter; Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Debris and smoke fill the interior of the bank. "Stop shooting, you fools! I'm trying to think." Princess walks over to the parrot, which now, thanks to the gunfire, resembles a hot fresh rotisserie chicken. Princess takes a bite and chews. "Oh dear Pipsquawk," the bank teller weeps; "Who is gonna ride your little unicycle now?" The man wipes away a tear. Princess tosses down the roasted parrot. "You are a monster." Princess gives the teller an evil glance and leans in to his face. "My name...is Princess," she growls. One of the hoodlums scurries over to Princess. "Princess, Devil-Ray is on his way." Princess stomps her foot in frustration. "Horray, we're saved," the bank teller announces. The bank employees, all ducking for cover, cheer in celebration. "Shut up you idiots!" Princess gestures to the bank vault. "Grab the money and let's get out of here." One of the goons shrugs. "We have no time, boss." Princess grabs his gun away and blows him to smithereens. Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! "Call me Princess!!" Princess looks around; "Anyone else?" Silence. "That's what I thought! Now let's go." Moments later, in the getaway car, Princess shouts from the backseat; "Where did you learn to drive, nimrod!?" The goon who's driving looks panicked. "I'm going as fast as I can, Princess." Princess smacks the side of his head. "That's the problem, you idiot! The cops are closing in!" Sirens wale throughout the city. "Let me drive." Princess shuffles her lean body from out of the backseat and over in to the passenger's seat. In the passenger's seat, she pushes a button on the dash board, which opens up a hatch that spews out a second steering wheel. Princess laughs like a maniac. She swings the car left and right, violently. The henchman sitting in the driver's seat panics. "No! Woah! Too fast! Princess! No! Not that way! Slow down!" Princess laughs madly and looks backwards at the speeding police cars. "Eat this one, coppers!" Princess turns sharply in to an ally way. "Princess, the cat!" Princess barely misses running over a small, white cat. "Meow?" Princess kackles maniacally. Just then, a tall shadow descends on the getaway car. Something dark is draped over the windshield, which causes Princess to ram the car in to a dumpster in the ally. Smoke rises from the banged up hood. The tall, dark figure pulls Princess out through the passenger's side window by the collar of her shirt. "It's the end for you, April." Princess grins in self-knowing defeat and shuts her eyes, gritting her teeth. "Devil-Ray." THE END
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