Yet Another trip to the Movies gone bad!

Just a disclaimer: the following literature contains material that may offend some readers, reader discretion is advised!

It was mid-June 2022, and you have just got off the phone with the Orkin man. You really couldn't believe that you have to fork over money again to not only fix up your house, but to please the long arm of the law again. The day before, you were walking around the house, making sure it was in pristine condition when the cop came back over. He was checking in on the condition of the house and so far is quite pleased with what he is seeing. However, as with all things, something goes wrong. Your girlfriend was about to move another basket of old clothes to the laundry room, when out of nowhere, a huge swarm of roaches came out of the clothes and fled out of the closet! So many bugs came out that the cop told you that you have to get this bug infestation under control, PRONTO!


It was finally on Thursday, June 23, 2022, and the Orkin man has finally arrived! However, because of the pit-bulls in the house, he was a bit hesitant to come in. You had no choice but to put them in the yard while taking the kids to a daycare center. He would be fumigating the house as well as treating the outside of the home. It would be hours before he is finally done and leaves the house, telling you to stay out for a bit so no one or anything gets sick from all of the fumes! As you write up a check for the service, you cuss up a storm under your breath as you feel like those roaches were probably hiding on purpose and just waited until the cops arrive before coming out of hiding! Of course, since the cop is cousins with your brother's best friend, it wasn't long before your brother got the scoop and posted all about your "roach motel" problems on his twitter and poked fun at it. Not long after that, you started having trolls heckling you, and accusing you of being a lazy slop that does nothing but eat and fart all day! Instead of doing something productive and making a video of yourself cleaning up the place, you think it would be wise to go down a different route...insulting the trolls back! You think it's a perfectly good idea to hurl insults right back at them! From saying things like "Go get laid you damn Virgin!" to "Why don't you post a picture of your real face you damn COWARD!" and whatnot to a huge crowd of complete strangers on social media all through the night...

It was Friday, June 24, 2022, and you just got a text from your mother. She wanted to see the new Elvis movie in theaters.

Your mother has been an Elvis fan since she was a young woman. However, the movie theaters as of late has been concerning you...
lately, half of the movies would be proudly made in this country...while the other half would be movies imported from India, which are usually lame as shit! And the American made movies are no better...
There is the new "Dr. Strange" movie, but it's bad because it has gay characters in it, then there was the new "Lightyear" movie, which is bad as well because it also has gay characters in it. Then there was "The Bad Guys" movie, which you think was for furfags, then there was the "Sonic the Hedgehog 2" movie, which you also think is for furfags. Then there was Jurassic World, but that movie was SUCH a huge disappointment. Then there was the new "Top Gun" movie, which was, quite sadly, the ONLY GOOD MOVIE of the bunch...ALL THE OTHERS WERE THOSE LAME ASS INDIAN MOVIES THAT YOUR FAMILY THINK AND SWEAR TO GOD IS NOTHING MORE THAN TERRORIST PROPAGANDA FILMS!!!
But of course, you are seeing the new Elvis movie tonight, and hopefully you will be able to calm your nerves down finally...

You have been crying non-stop since the ending of the movie! WHO KNEW THAT A LEGEND WAS BEING USED ALL ALONG BY EVERYONE IN HIS ENTIRE DAMN LIFE!?! You had to help your dear mother to the bathroom because you are quite sure she cried about a few gallons of water in just the past hour!

As you leave, you decided to check on your brother's twitter, and saw why he didn't want to come see the new Elvis movie. He was planning to see that new horror movie "The Black Phone." Just one glance at the trailer was enough to nearly make you shit yourself!


It was Saturday, June 25, 2022, and you were putting your camera together. Your girlfriend walks in and asks what you are doing and you tell her that you are going to pester that asshole brother of yours again for sending all of those trolls after you again the other night and for talking about your house's bug infestation! She tells you that you should just get over it and move on, but you can't let your brother get away with something like this! Your girlfriend then rolls her eyes and says "Can we at least leave the kids at my parents' house? This movie is suppose to be scary as shit!" You sigh and agree with her.
After dropping the children off, you take off to the movie theater after checking your camera's battery. Your girlfriend then asks what you are going to do if your brother's psychopath of a best friend sees you. You told her you have a can of bear mace ready if push comes to shove. She rolls her eyes again as you two approach the theater. You look all over the lot and don't see either your brother's beat-up Jeep or his psycho friend's service truck. You thought that, perhaps he didn't show up at all! You two then go in and grab yourselves a little bit of popcorn before you go into the showroom. You nearly gasped out loud when, to your surprise, you DO see your brother in the showroom! Not only that, but he is with his red-haired female friend that is supposedly a trained MMA fighter. You always claimed that she is a "Ronda Rousey" wannabe. And right next to your brother on the other side is some...huge, black dude. You couldn't believe it, on one side of him is an MMA fighter, and on the other side, is an orangutan! Not only that, but as you keep watching them while hiding, you see your brother leaning over to him and...KISSING HIM?!? Wait just a fucking minute, THIS IS SO VERY WRONG! Not only is your brother dating another dude, HE IS DATING A BLACK DUDE!!! If your father was still alive and saw this, he would PERSONALLY have some "kind words" to say to your brother about this...
Out of curiosity, you check on your brother's twitter and found out that his psycho friend has recently been involved in yet another wreck and is getting charged for DUI for the umpteenth time...what a surprise...
You waited until the previews started to play before turning on your camera and proceeding to go up the stairs. Your brother immediately spots you and rolls his eyes...

Ross: Dammit dude, what is your problem?
You: I don't know, how bout you running your mouth about my house being "filled to the brim" with roaches, huh? Or not being there for Mom when she got emotional during a movie?!?
Ross: Yeah well, I'm not an Elvis fan, but if she didn't blow so much money on merchandise with his face on it, we wouldn't of spent nights starving or having bills go unpaid when we were little!

With that comment, you snap and attempt to get an up-close shot of him, but the overgrown primate got up from his seat and started to push you back with tremendous force!

You: Who the Hell are you?!?
Ross's Friend: Just call me "Big Boy", now get the camera out of his face!
You: Look dude, this isn't any of your business, just stay out of it!
RF: No, it IS my business, AND YOU ARE PISSING ME OFF!
You: Oh yeah? And what is your fat-ass going to do about it?
RF: Look who's calling the kettle black! NOW GET THAT CAMERA OUT OF MY FACE BEFORE I SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!

And with one final push, he had you and your girlfriend tumbling down the stairs in no time! Thankfully, your camera and equipment is unscratched, but you didn't want to take another chance and leave the show room!
After you leave the movie theater, you are in such disbelief that someone in your family is dating someone from another race...how infuriating...as you started to fume, you begin to look around for a place to help calm your nerves down and fast!

And that's when you saw it...the golden arches...