Winning the Vows

"Rick, I'm not wearing your mother's wedding dress! I told you that last month and I'm telling you now. I'm going to wear the dress I picked."

"But I already promised my mom, Christine. It really means a lot for her dress to be part of the ceremony. I told her we'd work it out, and I'm not going to disappoint her."

"Well, you shouldn't make promises you can't keep. You especially shouldn't make promises for both of us without asking me first. I'm not going to have that kind of marriage."

"Are you saying you don't want to get married?"

"I want to get married, Rick. I'm just angry with you right now. Why even bring this up again? Your mom's dress is wrong for me, and you know it. The neckline is too high, there's too much lace, and it's too big on me, anyway."

"Aw, c'mon Chrissie, it's just for one day. We could take it in with a few safety pins and then you can change into your dress for the reception. I just can't disappoint my mom."

"Then you can wear the damn thing, because I won't. I didn't promise and I won't get married in that dress. And there's no point in any further discussion. I win, because I'm the bride."

"Oh, I see. If it's that easy maybe I should wear the dress. Then I can be the winner."

"Don't try to bluff me, Rick, I know you too well. You'd never let your friends see you in a wedding dress."

"I don't know about that. I'd rather wear a dress than lose an argument!"

"You couldn't pull it off, anyway, you'd just look ridiculous."

"You don't think I could wear a dress? You have no idea how far I'd go. I'd even shave my beard and let my sister do my makeup. And with mom's veil, no one would even see my hair. I could totally pull it off."

"But we can't have two brides, Rick, I don't want a lesbian wedding. I just want a traditional wedding with one bride and one groom."

"We can still have that Christine, all you have to do is wear mom's dress."

"I'd rather wear your tux! Then at least the pictures would look normal. I'd rather be the groom than have two brides."

"Yeah right, I think you'll change your mind tomorrow morning."

"We'll see who changes their mind. It's not going to be me."

"Oh my God, Rick, I can't believe you actually showed up in that dress. And with full make-up! I should make you go through with it, just to teach you a lesson about being stubborn."

"Well, my tux is in this garment bag, Chrissie. You have thirty minutes to admit that I'm right and you're wrong. We can push the ceremony back half an hour, change clothes, and start over."

"Please, Rick, you have to back down. I want us to have a nice, normal wedding that sets the tone for the rest of our lives together. Don't you want that?"

"Of course I do, sweetheart. So, if you'll just change into this dress we can get going."

"I already told you, Rick, no means no."

"Then I'm ready to go as-is. You have twenty minutes to decide what you'll wear."

"Alright then, let's do this, dammit! Give me that garment bag and I'll see you at the altar. I'll be standing on the groom's side in my tuxedo."

"But I shouldn't be on the bride's side, that's for your family."

"You'll have to stand with the bridesmaids so the pictures come out right."

"But what about the ceremony, Chrissie? We rehearsed it the other way 'round."

"It's okay, I had a word with the minister about the vows and told him this might happen. He thought I was just joking, but he's ready to do the ceremony either way. So, this is your last chance to back down."

"You know me better than that."

"Doesn't Rick look beautiful in my dress, George? I'm so pleased he kept his promise."

"I think he's being a fool, Helen. It'll make a helluva story, I guess, but I'd rather it was happening to someone else."

"And look, George, Christine is quite handsome in a tux with her hair swept back like that. I didn't realize how strong a person she is. I've never seen anyone out-stubborn Rick. I think they'll make a perfect couple."

"Oh yeah? A couple of what?"

"Be nice George, we have to support them in whatever they decide."

"I'm surprised at how good his tux looks on her. The sleeves are a little long, but other than that it's not a bad fit."

"Oh, she's quite the clever girl, George. She put on a heavy sweatshirt to fill it out. And you can't really tell that the trouser cuffs are turned up, can you?"

"Do you Christine take this man for your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do you part?"

"I do."

"Do you Richard take this woman as your lawfully wedded husband, from this day forward, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, to love, honor, and obey, till death do you part?"

"I do."

"I now pronounce you husband and wife."

"Dude, this is one weird wedding. I thought I was going to be your best man."

"You did fine Chuck, thanks for going with the flow."

"Yeah, no prob bro, but I think I'll pass on kissing the bride."

"That's okay, you can kiss the groom if you like."

"So, how's this gonna work, Rick? Are you gonna be, like, a stay-at-home mom?"

"What are you talking about, Chuck? I just proved that I've got the upper hand."

"Dude, you just promised to love, honor, and obey. Doesn't that make Christine the man of the house?"




Author's note: ▼

Second place in the July 2023 round of:

FORUM

The Bard's Hall Contest  (13+) NOVEMBER: Comedy... Thanksgiving with the Family #981150 by StephBee

Prompt: Dialogue Only!

A future bride and groom start getting cold feet the day before the wedding and get into an argument over ... ?

YOU decide!
Will they end it for good?
Or, will they solve the problem and walk down the aisle?

995 words