Then and Now

THEN AND NOW



Then

As a little girl, I was misunderstood
making it hard to act as a child should

happy, social, and eager to play
just weren’t the normal parts of my day

serious and shy, always hiding my face
it was difficult at best to find that place

where I felt accepted and part of the crowd
not left out and muttering aloud

what is wrong with me, why don’t I fit in
why can’t I ever seem to win

at this game called life which should have a rule
that it’s not okay to be so cruel

to sensitives like me who tend to cry
tears of sadness in the blink of an eye

I just wanted to be, like all the others
out having fun along with my brothers

but taking part was a very tough thing
‘cuz I never knew who’d be understanding

many avoided me like they were afraid
of how different I was; how uniquely I was made

so I went it alone pretending all was okay,
in my make-believe world where it was safer to play.


Now

Older and wiser; misunderstood still
it’s hard to respond as most adults will

to being social, well-adjusted, and eager to engage
I still find it difficult, even at this age

though somewhat less serious, I sometimes still hide my face
and find it hard to locate a place

where I feel accepted and part of the crowd
not left out and thinking aloud

after all these years, I still don’t fit in
but at least now I know, it’s okay, I can win

at this wild and crazy unpredictable ride
with its ups and downs; I just have to decide

will the status quo win or will I fight
to escape from the darkness in search of the light

the answer is easy, I’ll fight all the way
when where I’m at isn’t a good place to stay

I’ll open the door and step inside
where deep down I know my soul will provide

a way back to that girl who will play a big part
in guiding this woman back to her heart

and on to a path that will lead to such growth
that she’ll finally learn how to love them both.

LC: 74