Lucky Limericks

1/ The Swearin' O' The Green

This brassy young Irish colleen
has a tongue that can be quite obscene.
But she has a smart trick -
the rude words are Gaelic,
so no-one can tell what they mean.


2/ Snakegate: St Partick exposed!

"So you see, there were never snakes here,"
said the student, "the record's quite clear."
This news silenced all chat,
all eyes turned to Saint Pat,
and they turfed the fraud out on his ear.


3/ Please wear a mask at all times.

A tourist from deep in the tropics
kissed the Blarney Stone - how idiotic!
Now he's tucked up in bed,
with his lips huge and red,
on a drip-feed of antibiotics.