Blue

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P.S: Trigger warning for some touchy-subject matter, but one that needs to be understood.

         They seemed to mock her; beady dusky dots for eyes that still gleamed within flakes of ancient bleached paint.

         Its body, once a hue of almost luminescent blue, now appeared insipid and lifeless; perhaps to match its languid bobbing on twig and leaf-ridden – probably mosquito-infested – pool of murky water.

         A slight gust of wind caused it to quiver, but just enough for it to nod its bulbous head in her direction; perhaps acknowledging her presence or, again, mockingly judging her predicament.

         Its jutting cobalt beak remained open in a silent scream of accusation; the unspoken words filling the void, repeatedly, until she was forced to squeeze her eyes shut and tighten the shawl around her shoulders as if hoping it would shelter her from a cruel reality.

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         Yet it bobbed away, whether she paid attention or not – a once fine plastic rubber ducky she had won at The Fair – when she was just six-years of age. Perhaps it could still remember the eager innocence in those expressive green eyes; the happy squeals of ‘Daddy! Daddy! I want that one! Pretty please?!’ Or the way she had tugged those large, calloused hands, and the rumbling laughter from the Big Man with the jolly features. It could, probably, recall being snatched from the misshapen shelf – grateful for finally being relieved from its dusty prison of near abandonment from State Fair to State Fair; never being good enough for anyone until this lovely child, with hair like fire, rescued him from inevitable obscurity.

         It felt her warmth as she clung on greedily; listened as she spoke in soft whispers, even daring to give it a name. They became the best of friends, where secrets could be shared without the fear of revelation. At first, the secrets had been delightful with childlike innocence, where conversation had swirled around tea parties, playing dress-up, and frolics in the flamingo pink outdoor inflatable pool. Some nights, she would even allow it to share her bed, where it would be cradled against the cozy swell of her budding chest, until the first rays of dawn.

         However, she would not remain a six-year-old forever, and growing up came with many changes.

         As did their secrets.

         Once sheltered beneath duvet covers, its home would soon become a cluttered shelf in her room, and from its new view, it would witness events it could not prevent no matter how loud it screamed in silent horror.

         When had it all started?

         Was it when the Big Man, with the jolly laugh, started visiting her late at night; the strong smell of something strange on his breath as he hovered at her door while she slept? Or was it when they would hear the raised voices, terrifying screams, and pounding of flesh while she hid beneath her duvet and covered her ears? Perhaps it was when the Big Man, with the now-not-so-jolly-laugh, visited that night, when the Big Woman with the sad smile, had left on some journey.

         Was it when it could hear her now begging ‘Daddy! Daddy! No! Pretty please!’ Or the heavy sound of the Big Man’s breathing as he appeared to smother her until her frantic pleas were no longer heard.

         Only tears.

         Ever only tears afterwards.

         Until even that, too, stopped and nothing was left but silence.

         It could only watch as that lovely child, with hair once-like fire and eyes of brilliant green, now seemed dull and vacant. She no longer paid attention to the things that once gave her joy, and it could only yell into the ether as she finally acknowledged its presence, but only to toss him outside the window in her frustration.

         Lucky for it, the outdoor inflatable pool was still filled with water, where it would cushion its descent and float for what seemed like an eternity. There was no one willing to tender to it for the occupants of the home were now nothing but walking shadows.

         It bobbed as a new voice was heard. This was a different person, another Big Woman, but with a tender disposition and a light that had not been seen or felt in a long time. This Big Woman, would stoop and speak gently; her voice filled with a quiet understanding.

         “Are you ready? Don’t worry. Everything is going to be just fine. We’re going to take good care of you. Is there anything else you want to take with you?”

         It felt a wave of desolation, as the girl began to shake her head; wondering if this truly would be the last time it ever saw her again. And as another gust of wind caused it to bob away from her, it prepared itself for its inevitable oblivion.


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         She took a step forward to follow the woman, but faltered as she looked over her shoulder once more.

         She really should have tossed it into the trash by now.

         She was a big girl. She really didn’t need it anymore, and yet – for all its silent judgement and accusations - she would turn towards the pool, reach into the infested waters and pluck it out of its misery.

         Wiping it clean with her shawl, she cradled it gently beneath her arm and against the warm swell of her belly, and with a nod to the new Big Woman, she whispered in resignation.

         “Now, I’m ready.”






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Notes:
Originally written for an activity where the prompt given was this cute picture below: