All too well

Crystal skies, quiet surroundings
Nostalgia hitting me like a cool breeze at night
My eyes swollen, wells up with precious tears
Of the memories we had here

The apartment we shared
The queen sized bed we laid our tired heads on
Your perfume that is forever etched in those walls
Everything now- is matted to dust

I guess I'm not over it
I guess you'll burst out of the rooms
Hug me, sit me down
Offer me tea, knowing all too well how I hate it

Those conversations we shared
Of our struggles
Have replayed itself in my mind like a gramophone
As I stroke the soft brown leather couch

I could remember how we'll argue
About the colour turquoise
I'm siding with blue, you green
Knowing all too well that we're both right

Your clothes-all fancy
Mostly black has felt unreal
But when I wear it
I see you with so much vivid clarity

I wail and grieve from my soul
Hot tears from the warmth of my heart spring forth from my eyes
I've lost my sister
My sister who will take huge helpings
Because she's the firstborn

My sister, who helped me build an empire
When I told her I can't be a Queen
Where are you now?!
I miss our petty arguments

I miss our harmless teasing
I miss our talks
I miss your laugh
I miss the safety of your tired arms

But you and I know all too well that you're not coming back