Family unfolded

Maybe they’re not as perfect as I thought

I’ve always been under the preconceived notion that my family is pretty well put together. And from the outside looking in anyone else would probably feel the same way. I’m currently in a treatment facility dealing with an addiction problem. I’ve been trying to clean up the wreckage of my past and trying to incorporate my estranged family back into my life. Or better yet I’m trying to invite myself back into their lives. That seems more accurate anyway. My father past away when I was young but his family, my family, never quit loving me after he was gone. However I became ashamed and when that happens I just completely withdraw from anyone that I care about. So I haven’t seen most of them in twenty years and haven’t talked to the majority of them for that long either. If anyone thinks that addiction is just people partying and having a good time. You couldn’t be more wrong. It’s filled with more guilt and isolation and sadness than any one individual deserves. It’s downright lonely no matter how many people are in the room with you, you’re convinced no one else can be going through what you’re going through or has any of the same things wrong with them that you do. It turns out all of these people I was so ashamed to talk to have some of the same problems that i do or have kids going through the same pain. It was a huge relief to hear that they can relate. I don’t know if that makes me sound messed up for saying that their struggle is my relief. But I know I can talk to them now and that makes me happy but the pain they’re going through makes me so sad cause I know that, I feel it, hell I'm living it or at least was. I’m just grateful they’re back in my life and I know that whatever it WE’RE going through it’ll be better together. God is great and he’ll pave the way, we just gotta walk the path he puts in front of us. I just wanted to get something on here. I needed an outlet and this seemed like an appropriate one. Thanks reading.

Samuel