Reflections on being closed off and trapped in memory |
Inside My Memory I sit tonight with my drink of choice in hand and I ponder It has been many years and the question grows restless again I wonder Such was my choice made without your consent do you ponder? Those moments so long ago indelibly imprinted do you wonder? I try as I might to shake off your touch from inside my memory Sometimes I escape those long ago moments that drag me back to purgatory I ran from your grasp placing distance and time far between us Yet these moments still come and I feel inside that pain so grievous I stand tonight and I've downed my drink of choice trying not to remember Though, memory hazes and numbs in my head events play on forever This habit I gleened from your own when you were trying not to remember But you always did and the rage swelled your head and events play on forever I try as I might to shake off your touch from inside my memory Sometimes I escape those long ago moments that drag me back to purgatory I ran from your grasp placing distance and time far between us Yet these moments still come and I feel inside that pain so grievous The old fears still have me strong in their grip as I cry lonely tears But the sorrow and anger is slowly receding as I survive lonely years I have not convinced myself that I am blameless for your lonely tears I do know for sure I had no choice but to leave you to your lonely years I try as I might to shake off your touch from inside my memory Sometimes I escape those long ago moments that drag me back to purgatory I ran from your grasp placing distance and time far between us Yet these moments still come and I feel inside that pain so grievous February 12, 2002 |