Daddy

I lost you
again
in my words
plundered and mistaken.
I lost something,
Daddy,
and I can’t find the pieces.
Something died
in me
and won’t stick back together
with glue.
I lost someone dear to me,
Father,
and though I struggle,
the many times I die to find,
I lose.
Lost something,
Daddy,
inadvertently and shamed.
Drowning now, I scream it,
alive and kicking, being blamed.
Daddy, I made you
something evil,
something cursed,
Daddy, here I found you
Unrehearsed, unrehearsed.