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Rated: 18+ · Fiction · Comedy · #2320582
The unknown tale of two spies who left confusion across the South Pacific
Po Ten Stink, the head of Operation Undergarment, slid the profile sheets across the desk to the new recruits. Bi SniAtch and Cro Chi Pantsu. The two operatives pored over what was in the folders.

"Gentleman," General Stink said. "The western world is full of insecure capitalists. Operation Undergarment aims to exploit the west's squeamishness to leave the nations in the South Pacific powerless. That way, our great nation will fulfill our mandated destiny to rule over the world."

Bi Sni Atch blinked in puzzlement. "With all due respect, General Stank, do you really think that names like 'Mr. Blue Pants' and 'Mr. Pink Panties' would blend in? Won't the countries we operate in get suspicious?"

The general slammed a fist down on the ebony desk top. "Don't you know questioning your superior is inauspicious?" he yelled. "Your covers as homosexual underwear models are unassailable. Models in the west always have bizarre names. Haven't you ever heard of Black and Tan or Derek Zoolander?"

Neither of them was entirely sure what to say at this juncture. Was General Stink secretly an admirer of western culture? Both men were uncertain that Derek Zoolander was a real person. Stink's potent outburst warranted caution in word choice, bringing up this point might lead to more explosive venting on the general's part.

With a heavy sigh, General Stink continued explaining the mission. "Propaganda artists, have been running advertisements for Mr. Blue Pants and Mr. Pink Panties' debut modeling tour," he said. "You have four stops, one in Okinawa, Japan, Manilla, Taiwan and finally Sydney, Australia."

The persons formerly known as Bi Sni Atch and Cro Chi Pantsu looked at each other in bewilderment. Were they spies or models now?

"I'm not sure I understand," Bi Sni Atch said. "All of the places we'll be touring except for one is technically part of Asia. When the West is our enemy why are we stopping in such countries?"

Cro Chi Pantsu nodded agreeably. "How are a couple of male underwear models supposed to undermine all of Western Society?"


General Stink rose up knocking his office chair over. "That is the beauty of this plan," he said. "The two of you will be sleeper agents. Your handler, Miss Ting, will watch over you and give you the secret signal to activate the second part of the plan, which will be given to her in due time. Now pay attention."

The general crossed his arms, smacked his own elbows twice, then jumped around holding his left ankle whooping thrice. Afterwards he righted his chair and sat back in it.

"That, gentlemen, is the secret signal," Stink said. "Do either of you need me to demonstrate again?"

There was no way for either operative could unsee that. General Stink was not young or skinny. Seeing that much flesh jiggle under a military uniform was unforgettable. They shook their heads no.

Their superior rubbed his hands together. "Mr. Blue Pants, Mr. Pink Panties," he said. "Good luck on your debut. Dismissed."

The two spies put their hands at their sides and bowed deeply to the general.

As they walked towards the elevator, Cro Chi Pantsu asked Bi Sni Atch "So am I Pink or Blue?"

Bi Sni Atch slapped his forehead. "Read your file idiot!"
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