WdC Masquerade - Deadpool #1

As the Boeing C-17 military transport approaches the drop zone just outside of Singaporean airspace, the rear cargo door opens and Deadpool steps out onto the ramp with his "X-Force" crew, twenty thousand feet in the air.

"Are you sure about this, boss?" Peter asks.

Wind whips around them as they survey the Southeast Asian landscape.

"I have the confidence of a Harvard legacy admit interning at his father's Fortune 500 company for the summer."

"So... wildly overconfident despite no actual evidence to support your likelihood of success?" Domino clarifies.

"That's absolutely right," Deadpool confirms. "Just be ready on my signal."

And with that, he jumps out of the plane.

                   

Thirty minutes later, a 2014 Toyota Prius with an Uber sign hanging from the rearview mirror speeds along East Coast Parkway, on its way from Changi Airport to the Marina Bay Sands Resort. Deadpool is sitting up front with the driver while three party girls titter to each other in the backseat. Could he have afforded his own rental car, or even upgraded to a private Uber Black? That's beside the point. An UberX Share is a perfectly serviceable option, even if they do have to make a stop to deliver the girls to the Mandarin Oriental first.

At least it was on the way.

"So you parachuted into the country and need to get to the Marina Bay Sands... but you decided to land at the airport and then Uber to the hotel from there?" the driver asks, trying to make conversation.

"That's... correct," Deapool replies. "Why?"

"How come you didn't just decide to land outside the hotel and save yourself the drive over from the airport? Especially with the surge pricing this time of day. It's going to be pricey, even with the shared ride."

"You know what? Nevermind," the driver says, changing the subject. "So what brings you to Singapore? Business or pleasure?"

"If I do it right, both at the same time," Deadpool confides in him.

"Isn't it September?" the driver asks.

"It'll feel like Christmas when I finish this mission," Deadpool mutters.

"And who's on your naughty list?"

"There are so many people," Deadpool laments. "Wolverine, obviously. Lifetime #1 top-of-the-naughty-list. Which is unfortunate for him because he has a very long lifetime. Let's seen, then there's Justin Baldoni and the way he's completely and unfairly been at odds with the delightful Blake Lively over the marketing of It Ends With Us. There's the Disney publicity team who are dragging out the Deadpool & Wolverine press junket forever. Seriously, just let Ryan Reynolds go, people; he's done his part. Oh, and of course there's Black Beauty

Angelica Weatherby-Star on top

."

"How did a horse make the list?"

"HE KNOWS WHAT HE DID."

They ride in silence until they arrive at the Mandarin Oriental and drop the ladies off, then continue down the East Coast Parkway and start crossing the Benjamin Shears Bridge heading to the Marina Bay Sands.

"You can let me out here," Deadpool says, gathering his things.

"Where?" the driver asks.

"Right here. Stop the car."

The Prius screeches to a halt in the middle of the bridge. Deadpool pays the fare and gets out, approaching the edge of the bridge. In one quick movement he hops the railing and drops over the side of the bridge to the water below.

                   

An hour later, the elevator to the Marina Sands Skypark slide open and Deadpool exits out onto the fifty-sixth floor.

He immediately saddles up to the bar and waves over the bartender. Geralt of Rivia

Allan Charles

sits next to him and Deadpool does a double-take, noting Geralt's long, white hair and grungy appearance.

"You know, I always figured the DCEU took a toll on its actors but, boy I did not know it was this bad," Deadpool remarked as he ordered a Pink Raspberry Cosmo.

He swapps the bartender a $20 bill for his drink and heads off, but not before whispering in Geralt's ear. "Whenever you're ready to head over to the Mouse House, you just let me know. I just made them a billion dollars on Deadpool & Wolverine ... I can practically do anything I want at this point! Buddy comedy with Johnny Depp, erotic thriller with Johnny Depp... honestly, anything you wanna do with Johnny Depp, I can probably make it happen."

Deadpool wanders out to the railing of the SkyBar where he passes a very flustered Fat Spider-Man on his way back inside.

"Wow, Peter," Deadpool remarks, noticing the extra pounds around the man's midsection. "Look, I know they pushed back the production date of your next film, but that's no reason to let yourself go like this. It's just gonna make it that much harder when the stunts training starts up again, you know? Seriously, maybe choose a salad every once in a while."

The cosplayer hurries for the elevator.

"And if you ever need an workout accountability partner, you know where to find me! Just FYI, I don't do steady-state cardio. Or free weights!" Deadpool calls after him.


At the railing, he notices Lara Croft looking out over the city below.

"Nice view," Deadpool says as he leans on the railing beside her.

Lara looks at him suspiciously, but realizes that he's actually looking out at the view from the deck, not at her.

"It is."

"I hear there are going to be some fireworks tonight."

"Listen," Lara says. "I'm not sure what kind of pickup line you're angling for right now, but I can tell you that I'm definitively not interested. I've already turned down one superhero tonight, and - let's be honest - if I were going to go home with a superhero, it'd probably be with one of the better-selling, better-looking title characters like Captain America. Or Thor."

"Okay, fair," Deadpool concedes. "But I wasn't actually hitting on you. I just thought, as a fellow action franchise star, you'd appreciate the fact that I'm about to make stuff go boom."

"What stuff?"

"I'm so glad you asked!" Deadpool exclaims, pulling out a detonator and offering it to her. "Would you like to do the honors?"

"I don't generally like to explode mystery ordnance that a stranger hands me the detonator to."

Deadpool shrugs. "Prude."

He presses the button and suddenly, the night sky is alight with yellow and orange flames as the bridges to the north of the peninsula are destroyed, right where Deadpool jumped off the bridge after he got out of the taxi. Each of the four bridges collapse, leaving no exit possible from the north end of the island. As if on cue (because it was their cue), the cargo aircraft carrying X-Force swoops low over the other side of the peninsula and carpet bombs the land at a narrow point connecting it to the main part of the island.

Water from Marina Bay starts flooding into the newly-created trench, rushing to fill it and creating a canal over a hundred feet wide.

The Marina Bay Sands is now on a literal island, isolated from the rest of Singapore.

No way in, no way out.

"That was a very impressive explosion," Lara murmurs. "Which I'm sure has absolutely no relation to any feelings of masculine inadequacy that you've repressed. But I have to ask... why?!?"

"It was the easiest way to keep my quarry from getting away."

"And what are you hunting?"

"A very bad horse."

"Surely you don't mean Princess Twilight Sparkle

Falling Potato Flake

?"

"What in the name of Stan Lee is a Princess Fleshlight What-the-fuckle?"

"One of the two horses I'm aware of on the island. Well, I think technically she might be a unicorn or maybe even an alicorn now... to be honest, I haven't been keeping up on my My Little Pony mythology."

"Me either," Deadpool admits, crestfallen. "But I'm actually after the other one."

"Black Beauty?" Lara asks.

"I think the preferred term is 'African American' Beauty at this point, Lady Croft." Deadpool retorts. "I would have thought they'd taught you that at the Swiss finishing school you attended before they retconned your character's backstory. But yes, I'm a man in search of a horse. And now that horse is stuck on an island from which there is no escape. Other than the sweet, sweet release of death... or a trip to the glue factory. Either way, the hunt begins."

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1,401 words

Written for: "Wdc 24th Birthday Masquerade Party" 

Submitted via: "(un)Civil(ized) Engineering"