9.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9.
The number of lives I’ve lost
The times I’ve had had to go through the five stages of grief
By the time you get to 3
Before you’re 15
You have grief and death nailed down
You aren’t inconsolable
1 and 2
Hurt like a hell
Take forever to get over
You buy reminders of them and their love
4 and 5
Feel guilty
You’re the common denominator for all this death
You’re the problem
6 and 7
Sneak up on you
There’s a bit of shock
But you can smile
8 and 9
You begin to expect
You comfort the people on 1 and 2
Dissociation is your best friend
I no longer cry at the news of people dying
It hurts my heart and I longed to be hugged
But I’ve trained myself to survive
I have a complete set before reaching adulthood
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