Porthole

I've lost my sense of caring

I've lost my sense of caring.

I'm basically adrift between a life I chose and one I might dare to choose again. Will going ahead be returning to old routines or making new ones? I was placed on hold for a year and withdrew to estivate then hibernate. The life force in me wanes.

Again an odd dream, one that could've been a nightmare but wasn't. My option of visiting the C4 countries: Guatemala, Honduras, El Salvador, Nicaragua, may have triggered it.

43 degrees at 9:58 with fluffy warm sky-bunnies headed somewhere else.

Lilli asks:

What is your favorite dessert?

Gobi, Mohave, Sahara, Kalihari —
any, if I'm offered chocolate cake,
two scoops of chocolate ice cream,
chocolate syrup dripping,
mocha on the side.

The Dew Drop Inn prompts are leaving me gasping for air this year. Most prompts seem too abstract. Even the "Tree of Life" is more of a concept. Fortunately I've seen a metallic sculpture on Buda Pest next to the main synagogue and the symbol carved in stone many places. Enough concrete images to work from.

April 16—Caring & Caregiving
April 17—There is no such place
April 18—Sounds…
April 19—acting your age (or not!)
April 20—Tree of Life…

Almost noon. Already 51 degrees. I need to put clothes on and go out. I can't take a shower. Fridays: either before 9:45 or after 2:00. The janitor does a deeper clean on Fridays.

56 degrees at 1:52 ... only a few minutes past high-noon here. It should get over 60 around 5 or 6 o'clock.

Saw the usually crowd at the Big Dipper across from the Senior Center. Was gifted some potato wedges. On way back bought a rosemary focaccia at Le Petit for $4. I consider it to be oily savory candy.

I'm watching "Together with me", another Thai BL series. Very different vibe. In "He's Coming to me" the relationship opened up like a flower, one petal at a time, but the was no real question that the feelings and intentions were 'pure'. This one ... real villains trying to interfere.

Still 57 degrees at 7:38. Forgot to open up the window but I can probably leave it open over night.

I mixed a can of chicken with cream of mushroom soup, added milk and ricotta, sprinkled ginger, tarragon and thyme. I'll serve some over toast. Save the rest for tomorrow and eat a different way.

Twilight at 9 p.m. with an orange glow along the north-east horizon. 52 degrees.

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