The Whatever Files

Shocking Reveal

SHOCK!

HORROR!

OUTRAGE!

MILD BAFFLEMENT!

SLIGHTLY EXASPERATED!

These are just some of the sentiments that might have been expressed had we bothered to interview anyone about our lead story tonight.

We will reveal a shocking tale, that will shock you to the core when we reveal it, leaving you shocked at what we have revealed.

It seems that two respectable (ish) (actually that's highly debatable). (Really? I'll re-write that bit then.)

It seems that two seemingly respectable members of the WDC community are in cahoots, and are executing a dastardly plan to foist Gift Points and Merit Badges upon the unsuspecting public at large.

Under the guise of the mysterious 'Whatever Contest', Schnujo's in the Falklands and Adherennium Dr of Phoolishness offer what looks like a deal that's impossible to miss.

Indeed, given their massive advertising campaign, supported, we can exclusively, (and shockingly), reveal, by the Japanese firm 'Mail order Muses', it would be hard to miss this shocking contest.

Schnujo's in the Falklands asks unsuspecting participants to part with their GPs to buy Merit Badges, which they send to friends, and strangers alike. The idea is that you say something heartfelt with the badge, and this is the bit that will be judged and it is quite possible, actually rewarded when the contest closes. But, shockingly, Schnujo's in the Falklands then refunds the participants 50% more than they paid for the merit badges. Yes, she pays 15K for a Merit Badge that costs just 10K.

But that's not the end of the scam. Schnujo's in the Falklands then passes the participant on to Adherennium Dr of Phoolishness , a shadowy figure that, our investigators were shocked to find, gives away a Merit Badge for entering the contest, with the promise of a second badge, when the contest ends.

We asked noted psychiatrist Archimedes Pseudopolis for his opinion of their behaviour. Adopting the heavy Austrian accent that all pyschobabbalists study and practice for 12 months in order to qualify for the Freudian Slip, he remarked,

"Vell as far as vun can tell, zey are just zee 'nice guys'."

We also asked Shania Twain for her opinion, but received a letter from her lawyers telling us that we were in breach of our restraining order, and they'd be contacting the courts to take further action if we didn't push off and bother someone else.

It all this doesn't leave you shocked, or at least suffering from mild consternation, why not enter the Whatever Contest?