Team Ahimsa Blog Relay, Various Contests

Ban Nanna - rated 13+ - Week 2 Pr. 3 - Words 309

Yeah, don't ban me.

I was happy eating bananas. A Banana Bar would've been the ideal place for me. Don't ban me.

If you like, ban Nanna.

Yes, ban Nanna.

After all, it was all Nanna's fault I got tipsy.

Don't believe me? Ask my Dad, he was there. Ask him, I tell you. Nanna got me drunk when I was three years old.

Sigh.

Yeah, enough of the teaser, you want the story.

So I had a cold and my parents were at their wits' end because I was sneezing so much. They'd tried everything everyone told them, from next-door-granny to the postman's wife, and even the Doctor, but my cold wouldn't go and I wouldn't stop sneezing.

Finally, they tried Nanna's remedy.

Not banana. So, ban Nanna.

Nanna suggested a teaspoonful of brandy in a tablespoonful of honey in a glass of warm water.

It was duly administered to my sneezy lips.

For a few seconds it looked like it had worked. I smiled. I stopped sneezing.

My parents were about to look up hopefully, when ...

I hiccupped.

Hic

Hic.

Then I tilted a bit, sideways, and walked - or rather, glided - into the table. Or I would've if Mom hadn't caught me.

I was well and truly drunk.

"It was just one teaspoon in a tablespoonful in a glassful," Nanna sobbed. "NOBODY gets drunk on that much!"

"My daughter does," said Mom, through gritted teeth.

I was giggling and swaying by then, and bumping into random furniture and tripping over my own feet.

Mom was frantic.

She was yelling at Nanna.

Till Dad did something worse than what Nanna had done.

He left the room.

"Are you going to get help?" Mom yelled after him.

"No, I'm going to get the camera," he called back. "She looks so damn cute when she's tipsy."

(They didn't get divorced.)

309 WORDS

PROMPT ▼

* Have you ever gotten tipsy, inebriated, or drunk? If you remember what happened, tells us about it. If you don't remember, make something up. If you never were, explain why you shouldn't be banned from the Banana Bar.