Porthole

Last week of the dull dusty year 179.

19.มีนาคม.2566

To Neva on fb: "I do get the message. However, many books have killed. Even today the Bible is misused to abuse people and yes, even to kill them. And even a ban on guns won't help that. It doesn't help that some of the book-banners are Bible-believing gunslingers."

Last night in bed was 'interesting'.

Problems with Laos plans. I begged Pannya to renew his passport. It's easy, quick and cheap; but... now he says he can't go to Laos because... I moved Tuesday's class to travel with him? Still... he can get a 3 day border pass (does that include the day it's issued?). If so 20, 21, 22 would be 2 nights in Vientiane, which is close and therefore not too stressful. I need to check options. I'm running out of time though. My current visa expires the 24th and I have class that day as well.

Destiny unknown

There is only a guide to life, a map so to say, but the wayfarer must learn by walking the paths, each an adventure when one slows down to enjoy it with someone. I want to enjoy it with my lover. But without a passport the borders are closed. Edited and posted in "Destiny unknown [179.156] 36w Mar#12" 

To Paul: "Yeah... there's the rub. Benevolent kings and queens accomplished much... but then their children or grandchildren became spoiled and greedy and... the rest is history.

However, not all advances cycle back, so there's hope. An example? The Wheel!"

To Oldgreywolf: "I prefer Pope Joseph to Tyrant Trump but even Dictator Donald didn't destroy everything... he left some for Saint de Santis.

Actually, DJT was more like Andrew Jackson, allowing the rabble in to create chaos and havoc... not always unwarranted... not always wrong... but very destructive, and just like Jackson, racist (with xenophobia, nativism, nationalism, theocracy thrown in).

Regardless, governments are not perfect, but when there are better choices, choose better."

Jellyfish parenting: https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/parenting/jellyfish-parenting-isn-t-just-a-s...

To Steven: "I used to know quite a few non-believers, but they are no longer active. A couple of active names come to mind because I read their blogs.

I would say that Mid-American White Christians set a general tone at WDC just like Theravada Buddhism does here in Thailand. WDC used to be more diverse.

In general Thais tend to be more tolerant than many Americans or folks here at WDC. But that said, other social media sites are downright brutal. Lots of Hate on-line.

Both Neva and I are Baha'is. Neva never pushes her faith on others. Me? I get frustrated and rant. There are Muslims, Hindus and Buddhists here as well, but most are careful with what they say and how they say it."

18.มีนาคม.2566

At last

the rash fades from red to pink
the bruise turns into rainbows
the future lies beyond the wounds
the ones we survive
and smoke gives way to rain
and joy overcomes the pain [154]

Edited and posted as "At last [179.154] 37w Mar#10" 

BCoF

The daffodils march on and on
through all my childhood dreams
and a myriad of tulips bloom
or so it seems;
but now the smoke and chilies choke
and durian fills the air and stenches
oh to be young again
with all my senses

Edited and posted in " Daffodils march on and on [179.155] 40w Mar#11" 

To Waltz: "There are no blue moons in the Baha'i calendar... because... every month has 19 days.

I'm sharing a place... which means that we both have quirks and neither of us is wrong. Although... going out the door (even downstairs) without the key and keycard is a no-no. I locked the door to take a shower (we usually leave it unlocked... this place is safe... like Pleasantville circa 1960). I heard him knock but I didn't open the door until I felt like it. It's a lesson that needs to be learned. I check my pockets every time, proclaiming, "Key, Keycard". I do not want to be locked out and the elevator won't take me to the 8th floor without my keycard.

As for cats... sometimes better than a clock."

17.มีนาคม.2566

A dusty grey-blue day. My nerves are shot.

Your way or the highway?
I choose My Way
and landed in Norway
fifty years after I dreamt it.
I wakened to it.
The vidda snow capped,
my thinning hair turning white,
no way to deny
the advance of age,
the calming of rage,
the Coming Home. [153]

Edited and posted in "Coming Home [179.153] 40w Mar#9" 

To Steven: "There are different levels of homelessness for sure.

Car, shelter, friend's couch, tent, a covered corner out of the rain.

Some folks did two weeks in a cheap motel and two weeks in a shelter. One week eating steak; three weeks eating slop.

I did one year at a friend's place, two years in a shelter, another year at a different friend's place. It took 4 years. One year I had no income the entire year.

It's why I was grateful to find a cheap place in Montana for the past 15 years... but it may be time to move on.

When everything went down the drain in 2003, I wouldn't have predicted living in Oklahoma. Montana was not even given a thought. Nor was living in Costa Rica again. Or traveling? Around the world? Probably country #45 next week? Thinking about living in Thailand?

There is life after homelessness... in spite of it never seeming to end."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAX6fsvXKw7M

16.มีนาคม.2566

To Jessica: "It's not necessary that all your friends agree with each other... or even agree with you!

My opinion? Do what is best for each relationship."

03/15/2023-"The fear of death." "Death, be not estranged [179.151] 40w Mar#7" 
03/16/2023-" The hospitality."
03/17/2023-" The joy of achieving your dream "
03/18/2023-" At last."
03/19/2023-" Destiny is unknown"

Thai smiles: It's the smiles that deceive/beguile you. Make you feel welcome enough to stay awhile (or forever); but, beware their wiles! Their guile knows no bounds (Their is bound). Go to Thailand. It's ab-fab worthwhile... but for a trial. Their lifestyle may, or may not, not suit you. [152] reconcile, versatile, textile, beguile, bibliophile (not). Posted as "Thai Smiles {179.152] 40w Mar#8 " 

The power of Picard swearing! https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/star-trek-swear-words-and-tv-characters-changi...

To Tina: "Edit: 1. you have double-adjectives and adverbs that weaken the narrative. One will do or replace both with a stronger word. 2. I do believe it shocks because the mother goes through with it. It was not unheard of 200 years ago in impoverished communities, still isn't (conversation last April... present tense). 3. What is your word count (and goal)? Contests and even submissions usually have word counts in mind. Snip a few words and add a few, but I wouldn't make it much longer. Horror is best served hot or cold and this has ice flowing through it. I think the intro is E, not non-E, but could be better. The language is no worse than a fairy-tale, so 13+ overall imho. 4. Could use a stronger title. Yes, it's about motherly love, but that makes a very weak title. Even a simple date "March 16th" or time (pick one) "Half-past Noon" "2 in the morning" "Pecan Picking Season" etc... would work better (think of the date in "The Lottery") Link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lottery has some good pointers. "The Lottery" was set in a time and place and that helped make it real, why it provoked outrage, why it's considered a must-read 75 years later. 5. Steven should read this from a horror-writer's perspective; but don't wait. Edit now and re-edit later. *Shock2* Consider his contest because this fits into the horror genre even better than death, dark, emotional. So yeah...I don't do reviews; but, this is a keeper."

I get tired of stupid and disrespectful.

15.มีนาคม.2566

Y'know... went out with Paulo (leaving next week) and Sayan (who was recently ill). I thought just to see a cafe. It became going out to a Vietnamese restaurant. Pannya wasn't ready to go out, so I figured I'd be back soon. Came back with food and... there he sat staring for over 2 hours... I try. I really try. Just got him to stand up and guided him to the toilet. I hope he takes a shower and agrees to go for a walk. I know he's worried, stressed out, and depressed; but, I can't help when he dissociates (because I don't know where he goes...).

We went for a walk, bought some food. He's a bit better now.

14.มีนาคม.2566

To Fathertymme: I just blah-blah-blaahg. It really doesn't matter. But it helps me keep track of the days and reminds me that I do accomplish something in spite of my depression.

That has lifted a bit. Coming to Thailand has been challenging, but good mentally. It forces me to pay attention to the present (as my Montana routines are upended) and my future looks very different than a year ago.

Off to Thai language class today. It's a pink day, a Tuesday...

The view of bare butt-cheeks in the morning... is this a prompt?

13.มีนาคม.2566

I responded to BrianKCompton, Here I Go Again: Thank you for your support. There isn't as much support as there used to be in society in general. I'd say we've left the

Age of Aquarius

and entered the

Error of Estrangement

(word choice on purpose).

I'd love some comments on this era of distancing, disagreeable disagreements, dissing... in general.

Are you experiencing this in your own life?

Ponnya and I will brave the smoke-choke to get a coffee and eat.

We did go out 304 baht for the two of us. Bought a few things at 7-11 on the way back.

My back isn't as bad but I must be careful.

As for breathing... wore a mask.

The smell of fish boiling, the aroma of cilantro, the stench of... something rotting.

What did I say that upset you. Why is there blood turning black in the sink.

Where's the dog, the cat, my mother?

Am I sure that's fish? [150] Edited and posted as "Dinner for two [179.150] 40w Mar#6" 

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