Complex Numbers

Pedantonyms

Today, from Cracked, we have an article that should be of interest to writers.

    5 Evil Mirror Versions of Words We All Use  
You’ve heard about sparkles. Now prepare to darkle

Yeah, people avoid me because of my darkly personality.

Words have opposites. That’s one of the first thing we learn about words, thanks to Grover demonstrating to us the difference between “near” and “far.”

The truly messed-up thing is, I remember that bit. I can't remember what I had for breakfast yesterday, but I remember Grover's running and shouting with near-perfect clarity.

Well. Probably not. Memories change. But at least I know what he's talking about (in the words of Captain America: "I understood that reference!")

Some words, however, have no opposites. Think about “lie,” for example. We’re not talking about lying down (though, that also has no exact opposite either, with “standing up” being just kind of an opposite). We mean the word for telling a lie. We don’t have a word for the opposite, a single word that means “tell the truth.”

As much consideration as I've given to words and language, I'd never thought of that, instead having to rely on a juvenile dick joke site to point it out to me.

To the limited extent of my knowledge, French is the same way.

Other words, meanwhile, have opposites that you’ve never heard of.

Or maybe we have, as in the case of "darkle" (or at least its poetic relative, "darkling"), but it's usually fun to go through these countdown lists anyway.

5 Forget Sparkles. It’s Time to Darkle

This appeals to me on a visceral level.

Darkling then gave birth to the word darkle. If something becomes concealed in the dark, it darkles.

And here I figured it was the other way around.

4 If You’re Not Ambidextrous, Be Thankful You’re At Least Not Ambisinistrous

Oh, but I am. Ever hear the expression "two left feet?" That's Waltz.

Having two of the same foot would ruin your dance skills, whether it’s two left feet or two right feet, but somehow, we never say someone has “two right feet.”

Hopefully, we all were already aware that "sinister" derives from a word meaning "left," revealing how important conformity is to society.

3 Euphemisms Smoothen the Conversation. Dysphemisms Make it Worse

If "dysphemisms" weren't already a word, we'd have made it up (well, all words were made up; it's just a matter of how long ago they were). Consider how they coined "dystopia" as the opposite of "utopia," for instance, the latter being a pun of "eutopia."

Over time, it’s quite possible for euphemisms to become dysphemisms. Originally, the words “moron” and “imbecile” were objective ways of categorizing someone by I.Q. When those mutated into insults, we came up with a euphemism that was more acceptable: retard. In time, retard became a dysphemism more offensive than any earlier synonym, and almost more offensive than any other word period.

I've noted this before, which is exactly why I don't accept the taboo around the word "retard." (Besides, it's a perfectly good word in French, albeit pronounced slightly differently, meaning simply "delay.")

We replaced "retarded" with "special," and now you can't call someone special without them thinking you're slyly calling them an idiot (which was another precursor to "retarded"). No matter what words we come up with for people in the slow lane, it will inevitably become a general insult, and then we have to think of something new and value-neutral, which will quickly become an insult in turn, and we have to find yet another word.

Sure, it would be nice (a word that used to mean "foolish") if we stopped insulting people altogether, but that ain't gonna happen.

2 Serendipity’s Great. Watch Out for Zemblanity

Okay, one I've never heard of or would have guessed.

George Carlin had a joke about how we call it a miracle when someone barely escapes death, but it’s actually just as miraculous when someone who’s almost certain to escape death dies anyway. We need a word for when the world seems to conspire so events pan out in just the worst way. Let’s call that zemblanity.

I've just been calling it "the normal state of things." Or maybe "exactly what I expect." Pessimism pays dividends on those rare occasions when things actually go your way.

1 Natural Gas Replaced Unnatural Gas

Except that nothing's really unnatural, but okay.

“Gas” refers to any number of substances that happen to occupy a certain state of matter. You’re currently surrounded by oxygen gas and nitrogen gas, for example (at least we hope you are, because if you’re not, you have just moments left). “Natural gas,” however, refers specifically to cooking gas, which consists mostly of methane, along with a few other trace ingredients.

I've known about chemistry from a very young age. I'm pretty sure I memorized the alkane series (methane, ethane, propane, butane, etc.) before I learned the alphabet. So it has bugged me almost my entire life that we (in the US) also use "gas" as an abbreviation for "gasoline," which is obviously a liquid (albeit a volatile one). I'd call it "petrol," but then people would think I'm trying to be British.

The reason natural gas got that name is it had a predecessor, which wasn’t nearly as natural. Back in the 19th century, we used to make gas — out of coal.

Which is also natural, but whatever.

I won't go into the cooked-up controversies surrounding natural gas use right now. Another time. This one's about words, and I've reached the end of mine for today.