When I Die

The Brotherhood Of Seven

I wish I could be a 7 year old for the rest of my life.
I wish that I'd never grown up.
I wish I'd never been corrupted by life's seduction.
I wish I could see this world from that seven year old kid's eyes again.
Where have those days gone?
When did I lose it all?
And more importantly, why did I lose it all?


I remember, when I was seven, I had chums. Nappy-chums, that is, chums who'd been born at just about the same time as I'd been, chums who'd haunted me for just about eternity. They were real friends. We'd taken a vow then, we'd made a plan.

There were seven of us, each of us was seven years old. you could call it 'the mutiny of the devil' , or 'the brotherhood of the seven' or whatever, but here's what our plan was :

We'd planned, that each one of us, would grow up, get super important, and super rich, and rule the world together, and when we we're rulers of the world, we'd have the power, to fire Mr. Cole from his job.

Mr. Cole, was a school teacher, and a big bully. All seven of us, were in the same class, the same unfortunate class of 'Cole the Boar' as we called him.
He'd give us endless homework, and punish us if we didn't show it the next day.
So one fine day, Guha, who's one of us seven, couldn't do his homework, as his aunt had expired, and he had to go to her funeral. He told Mr. Cole the reason why he couldn't complete the homework, but 'the boar' was in no mood to listen.
Guha, or Ghu [which, translated to english, means 'shit'. Literally! ] got a sound beating that day. Five tight slaps from Mr. Cole's cane on his left hand, made sure that he would have a troublesome and painful week. That evening, was when we made our plan.

So, we decided what each of us should become.

Guha said, that he'd become an astronaut, and go to Mars [man hadn't landed on Mars then] and discover alien life, and then, secretly bring back one alien.
He'd recieve a lot of praise and wealth when he came back to earth, and then, he'd take the alien to Mr. Cole, and ask the alien to use his 'laser beam eyes' on 'the boar' to make him blind, making him unfit for teaching.

Stevens, a lanky fellow, had a history similar to mine, born in the USA, shifted base to India. He decided he'd become a politician. He said, that somehow, he'd inch his way through the Indian political field, and one day, become the Prime Minister of India. Then, he'd send his kid to Mr. Cole's school, and make his son say that Mr. Cole is a bad teacher and then, he'd have the power to fire him.

Ronnie, a pretty lass, with green eyes, and shocking red hair, had come from the UK, as her Mommy was doing research in India. She said that she'd grow up, and become an actress. She'd then have a lot of hit movies, and she'd hire a bodyguard, and make him beat Mr. Cole till 'the boar' quit the school. Ha, I remember her vividly now, we all used to call her Princess, she had that certain air of regality, I guess every female from the UK has it. If you doubt it, go ask Amber is excited !

Wally, a South African, was the only one at that time, who could hold his breath the longest. He'd hold it for 1 minute straight. He said, that he'd become a rich diver, going on expeditions beneath the sea, finding out more about the flora and fauna [actually, he just said 'fish'. we didn't know what 'flora' or 'fauna' meant at that time]. Then, when he'd earned a potload of money, and after buying every single Michael Jackson collectible that he could, he'd open a swimming pool center, and teach people how to swim. Then, he'd give 'the boar' a free membership, so that Mr. Cole would come running and jump straight into the pool.
Then, Wally would throw in a man-eating shark into the pool. Mr. Cole would either be killed and eaten by the shark, or he'd die of a heart-attack, and then be eaten by the shark.

Max, another american, whose dad had come to India to practise medicine, was a bully. He looked exactly like a bully should, he was taller than all of us, fatter than all of us, madder than all of us. We called him Mad Max. But in the four years he stayed with us, he never ever picked up a fight with any of us six people.
As expected, Max wanted to become a boxing champion [ WWF hadn't been born yet. ]
He said that after winning every coveted worl boxing trophy, and earning a potload of money, he'd come down to Mr. Cole's house, and give him a sound whipping.



Dear Sonya, another pretty lass, with curly golden locks and deep blue eyes, looked like an American from head to toe. If you want a more complete visual description, visualize 'Heather Graham', that is, the actress from 'Say It Isn't So'. Now imagine how she would've looked when she was seven. That, my dears, is exactly how Sonya looked, in fact, even right now, at the age of eighteen, you could call her a Heather Graham incarnate. Irony is, that she's the only one of us born in India. Her father, an American, had come down to India, to set up his company's business in Asia. He'd seen one Indian filly, and was instantly hooked. They married soon, and Sonya was born. Sonya's father never even thought of going back to New York again. Sonya said, that she'd become a writer, and write so many bad things about Mr. Cole, that eventually, 'the boar' would be thrashed by people all over the world after they all learned of the bad things that 'the boar' did.

What about myself?
I, being the usual idiot, said that I'd become a singer. I said that I'd learn how to play the guitar, and then, go to Mr. Cole's house, and bore 'the boar' with the most ugly and detuned melodies that I could think of. And I'd continue to do it till Mr. Cole ran away to some other place out of frustration [ I hadn't said 'frustration'. That was too big a word for us. I'd said 'madness'. ]


Whew, a long little 'I wanna be a... " list, isn't it?


Today, we've all gone our seperate ways.

Wally, is in New Zealand, studying marine biology.

Max, has recruited in the Indian Army. Now, instead of whipping Mr. Cole, he's decided to move on to fry bigger fish, ie,he's now whipping enemies of world peace.

Stevens, or Steve, has gone back to The States. He writes to me often, and his father's somehow got a lot of money, so he's wasting it on life, and girls, partying away, having a ball, and the every single thing a Rich, hormone-controlled American Teenager is supposed to do.

Ronnie's studying for her Bachelor Of Arts degree at the University of Arts, Pune, India. She's been busy falling in and out of love, and says that maybe she won't be an actress after all.

Guha, is dead.
He went on the wrong path, indulging in the glamorous life of ciggies and booze and drugs. He ended up a mental wreck, and one fine day, died of an OD of some drug. I don't know the drugs name, which is just as fine, I don't wanna die! Not now, anyway. But hey, Guha, If your soul is reading this, I hope you can fly now, and I hope that you find your alien. We've been missing you, Mr 'shit' !

Sonya, is the only one who's close by, we meet often. She's had a very troubled life. Her Mom died of cancer. It was a bad time, a real bad time. There aren't many things in my life that I'm proud of, but I am proud, that I was there for Sonya when she needed me. I was there to lend her a shoulder to cry on, And I'm proud to call her a friend, because she's strong. Dear Sonya, if you're reading this, then do know, that You're strong, stronger than me, and I love you for that.
I really don't know why life gives so much pain to the ones that we love so much.
And this much pain wasn't enough. Life hadn't gotten enough pleasure from Sonya's tears yet.
Soon after she lost her mother, her father departed, he said that he was going to meet his mother in heaven. I sure wish that they're together now.
I saw it all, seeing a friend of yours die inside so very slowly, to see her crying in those lonely nights, to see those lovely blue eyes engulfed by pain and misery, it tore through my heart.
Given a chance, I'd willingly exchange places with Sonya. It's better that I go through that misery and heartache, than see someone so very close to me crying tears of blood.I remember the times when you slept in my house, your head resting on my chest, as I heard you cry ever so softly, I wished then, that I could say something to comfort you, but, there really was nothing I could say, how can I say something to a person who's troubles are so painful, that I cannot even begin to imagine them?

I love you, dear Sonya, I love you. It's not the love of a brother to a sister, it's not the love of a lover to his love, it's not even the love of a mother to her child.
It's love, simple love, it's the love that man feels for God, the love that a child feels for his pet, It's love, and only love, the simplest, and most pure kind of love there is.



Of course, you all know what happened to me!
I'm studying for my Engineering degree, hoping that I last out that long.My music is still alive, and for that, I'm thankful. I'd have surely gone away if it that had died.

But in the end, Mr Cole never got fired. The Brotherhood of Seven failed.
Dreams faded, hope died.

I'm feeling pretty nostalgic now, but If somehow, we seven people get together again, and decide to get even with 'the boar', most of us would probably think of taking a gun, and shooting him in the head.

This, is the difference between a child, and a grown up fool.
This, is what I wish I could leave.
This, is what I wish I'd never learnt.
And that, is why I wish I was seven years old again, with my six dim-witted, but really lovely friends,
Back when every new day was an adventure, when I wanted to go out and face the world everyday, looking at this world with eyes of wonder, eyes of fascination, rather than eyes that are no longer smiling, and a soul that is no longer pure.

I've only lived for 18 trivial years, and I'm sick of it already,
I wonder what'll happen when I'm 28.
Will I look back upon this day, and wonder, where has this time gone?
Where did I lose it?
Where did I give in?
Where did my soul die?

I guess I'll have to wait for 10 years to find that out, but the real question is, that

Am I Going To Last That Long?



When Your Surrounded By Guilt And Fears,
A Fallen Angel Can See Your Tears


"Time had a beginning, and therefore, logically, it will have an end.
We weren't there when time began.
Nor will we be there to witness it's end."
---- Stephen Hawkings

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