Life as we know it sucks

"And I'd give up forever to touch you"

mood: so very happy, exbuberant, ecstatic

music: iris - goo goo dolls

1 month until my birthday! :) 11 months since the last awful (but good at the time) one. Jacob asked me what I wanted and I was like, "You." He said, "No, for real." I retorted, "I thought I was being for real." He didn't argue.

Earlier, I was all pissy about something or other. But, I got over it. Jakey got his pictures and he showed them to me. Creepily, it's exactly as I imagined him. All this talk of him being horrifying scared me and so I started picturing him so awful, but he's perfectly fine. I wouldn't have him any other way. But, now that I've seen an actual good picture, I learned that he was wrong. He's nothing short of perfect.

He won't believe it, but I have some odd attraction towards him. EVERY part of him. His hair - wow, his hair. That was the first thing I saw. Man, I love his hair. Usually I don't dig that sort of hair. I'm more partial to curls and shoulder length hair. But, something about his hair fascinates and even intrigues me. Now, I will not let my friends get to me about his appearance because I am quite taken with him.

I've heard him, I've seen him, I've become rather close to him since I met him. The last thing left is to see him...in the flesh. <sigh> That will be a very glorious day indeed. Hmm. I am strangely content. I am strangely in love. And I am femininely sensitive. I want to cry every time he says he loves me or some such sweet remark.

My God, I am in love. Have I just noticed this? Nah. Have I just accept this? Yes. I figured it would just blow over within a couple days, but I was wrong. SO wrong. This may never blow over. And I'd be fine with that. Strangely fine. Haha. I'm obsessed with that. Hey - I've always wanted that cd. "Feeling Strangely Fine" - Semisonic. Ahem. Back to Jacob.

I've been obsessing over his appearance. I figured I would just be repulsed and unable to tell him so even if I had promised to do so, but it's just the opposite. There's something that attracts me. lol. I must have some queer taste in guys, eh? No one else would find him attractive. But I do. I'm so weird. Oh well. I guess it's not a bad thing. Not for him anyway. Not for me. It all works out! Haha. But, I know he'd never believe me. Who cares? I know it's true, he should just accept it, right? Of course. Oh well.

My test of superficiality is all over now! YAY! <does a happy dance> Heh, or I could do the belly dance for you, Jakey. :) I'd to anything to make you feel happy and loved. Hmm. That's oddly familiar...