A peek at the REAL Thumbster

April 6th

April 6th


I wondered if anyone would remember that April 6th was my birthday. I had been dropping hints for days now but so far no one had mentioned anything about it. (April 6th ISN'T my birthday folks...but for this story we'll pretend it is okay?) Life for me these past few weeks had been dull and boring. I had dreamed of something special happening on my big day. Oh well...at least there was my math class to look forward to.

Math class always held a special place in my heart. Numbers...I just couldn't get enough numbers in my life. That's why I wanted to become a writer in the first place. Oh sure I had loads of offers to enter the wild and wonderful world of professional spit cleaners...the folks that scrub up after the baseball and hockey players...(God bless them)...or working in a salvage company...but everything else would ALWAYS take a back seat to the one true love in my life...math.

The spring in my step quickly turned into an all out run as I got closer to my beloved math class. "Outa my way!!!!" I yelled as I knocked over other students in my mad rush to get inside. There was no time to feel guilty about the elbows to the ribs and the black eyes I just gave out...they should know better than to block the corridors around the math class.

Entering the classroom...like a professional wrestler jumping off the top rope...I lunged for my favorite seat...the seat directly in front of the teacher. Unfortunately...that cute petite girl with the ponytail...the one who always wears those oh so soft cashmire sweaters...was already sitting there. WHAM!!!! Over went the desk with her in it.

"You were in my seat!!!!" I muttered as I helped her off the floor and into another desk. "God but your hair smells good" I thought..."Your cheek or that sweater? I don't know which feels softer".

Glancing around...I noticed all eyes turned towards me. At first I thought it was because of my entrance...they should be used to my enthusiasm by now. Then I noticed how the cute petite ponytail girl was blushing and I realized that I had been thinking out loud again. "Damn!" I thought..."These stupid morons must have heard that!" Oh oh...judging by the angry looks I was now getting...I was still thinking out loud.

Who cares? I didn't dream about coming to math class because of these morons...Well...Maybe that cute, petite ponytail girl added something to being here...but I knew it was mostly because of the numbers. Oooooooooooo just the thought of numbers and math made me tingle in all of my soft tingley places.

(Because I want to keep this "Birthday rated"...I feel I must point out that by "my soft tingley places"...I of course mean my ear lobes...that little divet under my nose...the soles of my feet and the soft skin on my forearms).

This was odd...my teacher...Mr P4%6dhr7&#f4sd4d* wasn't here yet. Class should have started several seconds ago now and still no Mr P4%6dhr7#f4sd4d*. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr How I hated missing any quality math teaching experiences.

Just then...

An older bald man entered the math class and sat at Mr P4%6dhr...whatever...'s desk and began to fumble through one of his books.

"Who the Hell is this?"...I thought..."and where is Mr P4%6dhr...Mr P4%6...Damn it...Why can't he have a regular name like everyone else? Why's he here and not the other guy?"

Judging by the puzzled look on the older bald man's face...I had been thinking out loud again.

"You might want to practice thinking without speaking"...said the older bald man to me sternly.

"My name is Mr Blondin......Mr Harry-no middle name-Blondin...and I'll be filling in for Mr P4%...Mr P4%6...Damn...I'll be filling in for Mr P today class."

"Where the Hell is Mr P?" I demanded.

Mr Blondin knew right away he was going to have his hands full dealing with this unshaven, gerbil loving freak that sat in the seat directly in front of him.

"Who the Hell are you calling an unshaven, gerbil loving freak?" I demanded..."It seems I'm not the only one who has to learn to think without speaking" I said smuggly.

"To be honest...I'm not sure why I'm filling in today for Mr P. In fact I HATE math. I sucked at it in school. I'm not even a teacher...but I often find myself in very wierd situations like this all over the world. Now that I think about it...It's always with HIM!!!!"...Mr Blondin said pointing at me.

"ME?" I exclaimed. "I've NEVER seen you before in my life!"

"Oh really?" said Mr Blondin "I seem to remember a certain Greece beach...and a market place in Bangkok...another market place in Endinbourgh...and in an apple orchard in Mish...and in a UFO over Newark...and a coffee shop in Kentucky where I'm sure we've met at least three times so far."

"Nope...That doesn't ring a bell." I said somewhat annoyed that the math class still hadn't started yet.

"My memory isn't what it used to be...coz I'm such an ancient old fart...but I'm sure we've met before." Mr Blondin said to me.

"Shit! Will you just get on with the math class already?" I shouted. "Enough about me!!!!"

"I...I can't help feeling like I know you. It's more than deja vu...I feel like I REALLY know you for some reason. Do you have a cat named Cricket?"

"Yeah...but that doesn't prove anything. All my cats are named Cricket."

"Do you have a friend with lots of tattoos...red hair...a communist...who you've not seen eye to eye with just recently...A friend named Edgar?" Mr Blondin asked me.

"Yeah...but that doesn't prove anything. Many people have a friend named Edgar...and almost all Edgar's have lots of tattoos...red hair...are communists...and recently don't see eye to eye with anybody."

Ripping off his shirt...Mr Blondin said..."I'm not sure why I feel I must do this...but...recognize me now?"

"Nope"

"How about now?" Mr Blondin said standing only inches from my nose. "Doesn't my mustache look familiar at all?"

"Nope"

"I'm sure I know you from somewhere. You love animals...hate cruelity...love rock...but you're not a big fan of jazz...you've written some poems...most of which suck...you often wear miss matched socks...you're a sucker for big brown eyes, accents and ponytails...you love to travel...you're a vegetarian...as is one of your sons...but your other son isn't which you find surprising because you always thought he was the more sensitive of the two...you love warm cozy fires and cuddling...and green and brown are your favorite colors. I'm SURE I know you from somewhere."

"Yes...That's all true but that can also apply to almost anyone here in this math class. You'll have to do better than that if you want to convince me that we know each other."

"Would today...April 6th...happen to be your birthday?"

"Yes it is...but I'll bet April 6th is the birthday for a lot of animal loving, miss matched sock wearing poets." I said unimpressed.

"I know I know you from somewhere. I wish I could remember. That would be soooooooo ever neat!"

"Did you just say ever neat?"

"Well yes I did...I did say ever neat." Mr Blondin said.

"YOU must be the guy that taught me that saying...ever neat...Now I..."...

but before I could finish that sentence...
Mitchell's computer started frigging up again and Mr Blondin was wisked out of the math class and vanished into cyberspace in the twinkling of an eye.


"What!!! That's it?" demanded the cute petite pony tailed girl..."That was a pretty shitty way to end this dontcha think?"

Hell yes...

"Who's gonna teach the math class now?" I thought. "I hate it when that happens."





Disclaimer
April 6th is NOT my birthday...I'm a scorpio. Sorry for the confusion. I'm truly touched by the undeserved birthday wishes though. I feel like such a fraud right now.

I originally wrote this for someone. I've re-worked and edited it. I'll post it as long as that person doesn't mind.


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