When I Die

Welcome To My Universe

Something about my life doesn't smell right. Maybe it's myself that smells bad, but there's something else. I feel like I'm being controlled, manipulated by an unknown force. Hey, I played a game called 'The Sims' a few years back, where we control virtual people on the computer.

And my life feels just like that. A controlled, sepia-hued soap opera, without the commercial breaks and snazzy sets and beautiful people shouting obscenities. You know, new things just keep popping up. Worse, the genre seems to be horror/scary. So crazy monsters keep popping in every now and then, and people turn into zombies in like, two seconds.

I said once, that maybe we're all living in a dream. Now I say, what if we're living in a controlled universe? A kind of experiment, the kind that scientists perform on rats. What if some kind of alien race is studying us? What if we're all living some kind of never-ending story?

Blah, I sound insane. I also sound illogical. I began this entry with one thing, jumped onto another, and now I'm talking about something entirely different. But this is how my mind works. you want to know about the insanity that goes around in my mind? Here's a glimpse of the world I live in:

You have been warned.


Welcome to the insane universe that is the Chimp's mind. It's a place full of beauty and freedom and magnets and miracles and mechanical machinations larger than the largest. A place where planes and ships float together, water and air dissolve into something entirely different, a kind of Vapour that surrounds you and enters you and leaves you ecstatically happy and impossibly sad.

A place where golden horses fly along the silvery shores, as creamy, twisting, slimy snakes twist and turn at their feet. A place where little girls and boys of all ages, wearing white dresses dance over the sun and the moon, as the earth cries tears of blood, weeping into the hideous trees, who clasp the children in their branches, refusing to let them move; refusing to let them breathe.

A place where chariots full of gallant warriors fall down a never-ending cliff, the warriors and knights screaming, and falling down, down, down. A place where lovers sit serenely under the falling rain, watching four-dimensional rainbows changing colors like a chameleon. A place where there is no hunger, and yet, the sweetest of fruits hang in the air, ripe for the plucking. A place where flowers impregnate you with their never-ending fragrance. A place where milky rivers flow from one end of infinity to the other.

A place where beautiful angels caress you and wipe off all the pain that life gave you, murmuring sweetness in your ears. A place where forests sing in divine harmony, a liquid crystal symphony of screaming guitars and wandering saxophones and whispering flutes and forgotten pianos that serenade your soul.

A place where tires continue to roll on a never-ending road. A place where pink and yellow balloons float upside down. A place where gravity bends and turns however you want it to. A world where giant buildings, colored in grey and black, cast mighty shadows on the sun, a world where giant grasshoppers and leeches infest the gardens.

A world without rules, a world without boundaries, a world without hatred. A world where a silent bell keeps ringing, reminding us of times when the grass was greener. A world where a lonely widow screams for her love, wondering why fate stripped her away from the only love she ever dared to have. A world where a naked man whips himself mercilessy, screaming out God's name; begging for forgiveness, as the black blood spills out from his open wounds.

A world where a little boy plays in the desert with his toy gun, which shoots out golden rays of starlight. A world where a plastic doll keeps stabbing a man in the ear. A world where the threshold of pain and happiness blurs into insanity. A world where there is no reality. A world where giant ogres and trolls surround you, and sing their hunting songs. A world where you ride on the backs of unicorns. A world where Pyramids and Sphinxes are built and broken every second. A world where time runs backwards and forwards. A world where the present has no meaning, and the past and the future are one and the same.

Welcome to my Kingdom.


Enter at your own risk.

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