Ten-Finger Exercises

Listening to yourself

Today was a hot summer day. I wanted to stay in and write awhile, and felt a little peeved that Bill was annoyed by that. There were house and garden tasks to do, and he was right that I needed to help. Still, my first thought was to list in my mind times when I'm working and he isn't, like making dinner for instance, and ironing. I said to myself, "He's on his high horse today all right." I decided to stay out of his way for awhile.

Then he found an item on a credit card bill for $665 from a dentist in Indiana. We're 2000 miles away and not likely to forget any special trips for orthodontics, so he made the appropriate calls. Not getting any satisfaction from the first two contacts, he pursued it. I admired the way he handled the situation in the end, just didn't like hearing the forcefulness when he wasn't getting through to the people. Listening to anger makes me uncomfortable. It didn't last long however. He got his message through.

Surprisingly enough, he was told to make a police report here at home as well as in Indiana, in addition to cancelling the credit card. The officer who called back from Indiana said that the doctor (dentist) is married to the district attorney, and so if it wasn't some honest mistake, then the perpetrator had sure picked the wrong person to defraud.

Later when I had been working out in the heat, I came in for an antihistamine. I heard myself saying, just in my mind, "It's too hot out there. I can't stand being so hot." And I remembered something important I'd learned a long time ago.

I'd been at a conference in a convent, and the tepid water in the shower had quickly gotten cold instead of warm when I stepped in. I'd shivered and tightened up, telling myself how awful it was, or some such thing. And then I heard myself. I made myself relax and just feel the cold water. It wasn't as nice as the warm would have been, but it didn't feel nearly as bad as I had told myself it did when I was trying to brace myself against feeling it.

I learned it once before. I got a repeat lesson today. When I hear myself saying, "I'm too hot" or "too cold" or even, "I'm irritated," I have a good answer. Okay, so you're hot, or cold, or mad. Just relax. Feel what you feel, but don't let it spoil your day.

The rest of the day was a good one.