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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/books/entry_id/462646-Already-letting-myself-down
Rated: 18+ · Book · Emotional · #954458
Bare and uncensored personal expression. Beware!!!
#462646 added October 18, 2006 at 11:41am
Restrictions: None
Already letting myself down.
*chuckles* I'm already letting myself down by being tired and uninspired. I did manage to get some housework done today which was a big step on my to do list but there is always plenty of that to tide me over. I haven't however accomplished very much with my writing. My head is ruminating over the travel book concept that's coming together for NaNo which is work in a way.

Today I started thinking I need to do another run of poetry for contests. It hurt my RL pocket to replenish my GP's again and I realise that while I treat WDC GP's as a charity I'm not in the position at the moment to keep giving away so much. Therefore the PPP projects, and the 50/50 raffle are the only two expenses I'm allowing myself for the rest of this month. I'm going to enter as many poetry contests as I can manage and attempt to bring in some GP's doing that.

Having said so much about what I need to get done I didn't get much of any of it done today. There were a few programs on TV I got hooked into during the day. A good movie and a couple of serials. They were worth watching so it wasn't wasted time so much, it just feels semi-unproductive because it didn't accomplish anything from my to-do list.

Tomorrow my mother and I are going to see The Devil Wears Prada. It's a Mums and Bubs session which means there will be lots of mothers with their little ones. It makes it easier to manage Josh because he's no the only kid there. The tickets are cheaper and they have change facilities inside the cinema so if any of the mothers needed to they wouldn't miss any of the movie. I actually really enjoy the Mums and Bubs sessions, it's fun to share something like that with other people in my situation even if we don't actually chat with each other or anything. The environment is friendly and fun, and we all get to enjoy a good movie when so often it feels like we're excluded from doing things like that because of our little ones.

I can tell Christmas is coming. The shops are starting in on their decorations and promotionals, the isles are filling with candy and junk food (more so than usual) and my diary is starting to be near to hand at all times. lol For 8 months of the year I barely remember to check the thing or have any need to use it. The other 4, the ones around Christmas and New Years it fills up and I start having to be careful not to double book things. *chuckles* It's good to be so busy, I enjoy the social activity.

One of the things lined up is a National Bookcrossing. Bookcrossers across Australia are going to be doing mass releases on Saturday and I've got to register as many of my available books as I can before then. I was thinking of heading into Perth on a hunt for some of the books but odds are I won't find any. I've been a book crosser for more than a year now, possibly more like two and never come across a wild book. I've also not had any of my wilds 'caught' it gets depressing because I've released so many. I wish the whole concept would catch on because it would be fun if more people were involved. http://bookcrossing.com/referral/laffarsmith

Another appointment I've got coming up is an Aura Photograph. A friend of mine owns a store where she sells spiritual products, you know crystals, books, tarot cards, cds, dream catchers, etc. all the stuff my step dad calles 'fruit loopy'. *chuckles* Anyway, around about every six months Carol hosts these Aura Photo sittings. I've never had my own done before but I've see the ones my mother has had done. She gets hers done at least once a year. I don't put my credit into it but I think it's intriguing so I'm going along out of curiosity. It should be fun.

On the same day is a NaNo coffee shop meet in the city but I don't know if I'll be able to make that. I went to one last year but didn't stay very long. I was on my own, and I was seriously intimidated after having mad the trip. In fact it's amazing that I even managed to get there without freaking out let along sit down, have a quick drink and then get the hell out of there. lol I don't think I even really said anything to anyone. They probably wouldn't recognise me if I went along and at this point I haven't arranged a baby sitter. I'm still thinking about it.

Tomorrow I have to go into the community center at some point too. It's a new term and I wanted to enrol in the writers group they have there each Monday. I don't know what to expect but am looking forward to it. The community center has a creche and they host a number of events in their function rooms, the writing group is just one of them, once a week. I attempted a writers group a while back at the library on Wednesday mornings but they didn't have a creche and everyone was much older than me, past the child stage. I felt out of place and uncomfortable and while they said I was welcome to bring Josh it was strange and difficult to try and keep him entertained and try and concentrate on the group.

I'm hoping this time it will be easier. I'll have to make sure I keep up with vitamin B and get my sleep into order so that the anxiety won't control me. It's so easy to think big and then find myself unable to follow through because of my sociaphobia. I'm hoping to overcome that in this case because I really am interested in knowing more about the group and experiencing writing with others in real life.

Anyway, it's getting late and this rambles has really gone for a few wanders. *chuckles* Definately time I pulled it to a close. Busy day tomorrow, so much to do, so little time. lol

© Copyright 2006 Rebecca Laffar-Smith (UN: rklaffarsmith at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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