Ten-Finger Exercises

Steam's down

I was answering emails earlier tonight and got on a roll, said I should stop and blog while the steam was up. But, I didn't . Sigh.... So, here it is, getting late, and I don't have a topic. We're watching some Tivo'd shows, Halloween themes, and I'm only marginally interested. I did change my name the other day. That was kind of fun. I didn't know they'd change my handle everywhere, but I guess they'll change back again. Do people change their names for other seasons too?

Just to be in the Halloween spirit, and for lack of something else to post tonight, I'll give you my entry from a Writer's Cramp. It's pretty different from my usual style. (I need an emoticon with a Vincent Price laugh here.)

New Prompt: The American Dentist Association has fictionally just declared that anyone who gives out candy on Halloween should be sued for promoting tooth decay. What do you decide to give to the Trick-or-Treaters? Do you hand out the candy you may have already bought or do you think up something else to give all your costumed crusaders?

If you’re still giving out candy, what do the parents of those Trick-or-Treaters say or do at your door?
If you’re giving out something else (toothbrushes? LOL,) what is the response of the kids?
Tell about your Halloween night with these new constraints.

Trick? Or Treat?

It is a question, you know. Trick or treat? Well, dear children, my answer is…trick! Everybody has a treat for you these days, and that can’t be healthy. Treat after treat after treat after treat! Not only will your teeth rot, but you’ll trust everybody to be good to you. That isn’t the way of the world, dear children, and you’d best find that out while you’re still young, because no one will help you when you’re old.

Too gloomy, you say, dear reader. Too “in-your-face?” Where else will they learn that childhood does not last forever, that responsibilities come with adulthood? Not at home, not at home, no they won’t learn it there.

Here comes a little devil to my doorstep now. How are thee, little devil? Dost thou want a trick? “No” you say? Did you say “No?” Too bad, you innocent little devil. (How can I say innocent and devil too? I know he knows not what he does, but that it does not come from love.) “All right, you devil, do your worst. I haven’t any candy, only apples. Didn’t the last batch of gimbally goblins tell you that? “

The little devil takes his pronged tail and sticks me in the knee. Yikes, it’s a stun gun! What the ___? I’m down. Well that will never be. I’m writhing on the floor while he laughs. I grab his apple out of his hand and throw it, not at him but down the walk. He laughs again. “Who wants your apple anyway?” he yells. My dog, Mounty, roars after it, knocking him flat. I laugh and cackle, trying to get up and regain the upper hand. “Have some eyeballs, chum!” I say, pointing to the sack I’ve dropped on the floor. “Or innards. Guts, if you prefer. They’re over there.” I point to another sack.

The devil reaches in…and feels…and into the next bag…and feels…and hurls all over my floor! Now that’s a trick par excellance! The poor boy is gagging, and I go to pick him up and comfort him. “See, see, it’s only grapes, peeled. It’s only cooked spaghetti. Don’t be afraid. It’s all right.”

He draws himself up, and laughs, and crows, “It’s only blender vomit! I made it at home with yogurt and oatmeal and tomato sauce and leftovers. Isn’t it gross!”

I am about to laugh in spite of myself, despite my intu-witch-in that I must not let this little devil win. Ah, Mounty to my rescue! He knocks this tricker down again and stands on him with one big paw, while lapping up the leftovers from floor and devil's face. And then, the piece de resistance, the trickster's bag of yummy treats!

Up, then, ye little devil; run! Go and spread it to your friends: this is the place for tricks!