Ten-Finger Exercises

music and memories

I don't have much of a subject for tonight, so I'm pulling a memory from my trip to Albuquerque for the hospice conference a month ago.

The breakout session was put on by two music therapists, and they began with some experiences for us to try. We were asked to pair with someone we didn't know and to pick up a prop from under our chair. Each couple had one shaker (a plastic jar with beans in it) and one scarf. The instructions were to move, as a pair, to the music. Then came the mandatory, "How did that feel to you?" and exchange of props.

The second exercise was still in pairs but without the props. This time we had to imagine that one of us was disabled in some way, and then try to dance with them. That was interesting, to move to the music in whatever way we could, compensating for our disability. We all found that to be a surprisingly satisfactory activity.

One of the music therapists talked about how to choose music for our patients, what to ask about and who to ask. She said to watch out for family members who speak for the mute patient, not to automatically take their word that Mama loves polka music. Maybe Mama did love it back when Papa was alive and they could dance, but maybe it makes her cry now. Or maybe Papa played a trombone and would love to hear some. Be very careful about musicians, she told us. Sometimes they are really agitated by music that they themselves can no longer play. So, if the patient can't tell you himself what he likes, pay close attention when you play it for him. See if it relaxes him, or cheers him, or irritates him, etc.

Then she played a piece of music, "Baby, Let Your Mind Roll On," and asked us afterwards to share our impressions. For me, it was like the lights went down and immediately I was on the dance floor at a college fraternity party. I could feel the (shudder!!) cigarette in my hand, and the caution I had to take to not bump into anybody with it. I had on my madras wraparound skirt and Weejuns, and my hair was in a flip like Mary Tyler Moore! It was kind of amazing!

If the patient is able to talk, the music may be a key to wonderful memories; and if the particular piece you've chosen doesn't work, then maybe you'll get a clue to some others. Some of the questions to start things out would be: can you remember the first time you heard this? Where were you? Who were you with? You use the music to help the person tell her story, what her life was like and what was important to her, what made her happy.

She cautioned us about harp music, telling us about a piece she chose for a hospital patient. Unfortunately a patient in the next room was scheduled for surgery that morning, a very complicated surgery involving several doctors in the operating suite. That patient heard the music, thought it was a "sign" that he was going to die in surgery, and cancelled the whole proceedings. The therapist said she had two doctors very unhappy with her.

When people are very ill or dying, she cautioned us to pick very simple music with a single instrument, not symphonies or intricate pieces with multiple harmonies. The former may be very relaxing, soothing to them. The latter is more likely to be agitating: the brain can't follow it.

Many hospices have music therapists on staff, and musicians who can come to a person's home to play for them. We have players and CDs, and I've never done much with them. Now that I know how I could use music to evoke memories, I'll enjoy trying it. I haven't made use of the CSs much yet, but I have sung with a few patients recently. I used to play guitar and sing sometimes in the hospital to patients who were stuck there for a long time in traction, etc, but I'd kind of forgotten about it. Just singing with a man last week was good. He offered, "Abide with Me," and that gave his wife a great deal of comfort when I told her today about his singing and his choice. She felt like maybe he is ready to die, and she was relieved.

Give the gift of yourself to someone today. Your presence will mean so much to someone who is lonely, handicapped, unable to get around. (And many more...)