Ten-Finger Exercises

the strange things I hear

Today was a day of strange conversations. Strange and sad.

The first was with a 40 yr old woman who is dying of cancer, who has lived at least 18 months longer than expected and is still going strong. She has not been able to be very active, and the steroids she was on gave her a huge appetite. She had always been very lanky, but has gained probably 60 pounds. She has become very demanding, and does not think clearly all the time. This has strained her marriage relationship greatly, all her family relationships in fact.

Last weekend she and her husband went on a Marriage Enrichment Weekend. I had high hopes that the exercises they'd be doing, and the time spent alone together in a nice place, would bring back some of the love and romance that her husband once felt for her.

Her report of the weekend was that it hadn't been "disastrous." They had talked about their goals for their marriage and decided that they needed to make some changes, to formulate some goals that are more attainable where she won't feel like a failure. (Until her illness they had been living up to their goals of a Christian home and a home-based business, as well as working at evangelistic ministries for children.) Her husband told her that he was not attracted to fat people, or inactive people, but that he would not be lured away from his responsibilities by other women or pornography. In other words, no loving but at least he won't leave her.

The second person I visited told me of her great fear of witches, and about several encounters with "pure witches."

Later in the day I met a new patient who has maybe a week to live. She was asleep, but her husband talked with me. He has recently moved into a nice senior apartment with its own kitchen, but he chooses to eat in the other building, in the boarding area. He said he doesn't intend to be without a housekeeper and cook for long, pointing to his wife. He likes being married, he said, and intends to find another wife quickly.

People sure come in different varieties.